Originally Posted: 2003-03-28 5:51pm
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favorite this post Hired Gun: Will Assasinate Your Television hide this posting unhide

Is your personal cause oppressed by the totalitarian Mind-box?

Unable to rise up (from your couch) against the tyranny of glowing light, the torture of Jennifer Aniston's laugh, the fascist blitz of FoxNews?

Can't escape the brutal, authoritarian regime of brain-washing entertainment shows, the human tragedy of "Save Me I'm A Celebrity", factoids about the "men and women in uniform", sound bytes from the latest civilian massacre or glaring images of Barbara Walter's hair?

Have you tried to overthrow the electronic dictator, the Propaganda Minister itself, only to be betrayed by your very own sense of investment and the isolation of being liberated?

NO SE DESESPERE UD., NOBLE ESCLAVO!! EL APOYO LLEGA!!

"REGIME CHANGE" CAN BE YOURS TOO!!

I am a highly trained, professional T.V. Assassin and, as part of a sweeping "Wartime" promotion, I am offering my services free of charge.

Utilizing the most advanced technology (Brute-Strength™) and a wide array of newly designed "smart" weapons (Sledgehammer™, Crowbar™, Baseball Bat™, Steel-toe Boots™ and Fire™), I will personally "hit", "off", "snuff", "whack", "fix", "end", and/or "neutralize" your television.

After the "op" is carried out, I will quickly and quietly leave the scene. (*NOTE: I am not responsible for the removal of the corpse. Trash disposal is a distinctly separate area of expertise)

As always, the "hit" will be documented and a full report will be sent to you for your records and satisfaction. These reports can be disturbing and you will have to steel yourself against any feelings of remorse that might assail you after the fact...particularly when viewing the grisly, graphic photos of the mutilated tele-cadaver.

BUT stay strong you must!! For tomorrow's tyrant is just around the corner. Vigilando siempre, nunca fallaras!! Remember, this is a seasonal offer, limit one per person. If you succumb to temptation and invite back the dictator, (Google search for "Gral. Banzer", Bolivian dictator via military coup from 1971 to his ousting in 1978. Renamed president in democratic elections, 1997.) there will be a substantial fee for your next "job".

OBRERO, CAMPESINO, TELE-ADICTO, LIBERENSE DE UNA VEZ y PARA SIEMPRE!!!

You saw this ad, you checked it out...the longest journey begins with the first step...and you've taken it!! BE BRAVE!! DON'T HESITATE!! COMUNIQUENSE AHORA!!!

RESIST!!!

SUS LEAL CAMARADA,
XXX



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