Hi - I need a custom rear-view photograph of a human torso with a mass of spaghetti hanging out from between the buttocks. The model should be male, of average weight/build, preferably with noticeable body hair (swarthy a plus), in a standing posture (butt pimples okay). There should be a large mass of COOKED spaghetti (or any long strand-shaped semolina pasta except capellini and no whole wheat or spinach pasta) in a red sauce protruding out from the butt crack and dangling vertically. I DO NOT want any genitalia or sexual imagery featured, nor any distinguishing physical characteristics such as tattoos, etc.
If you want to do this with Photoshop or computer fakery that's fine - just make it look real, okay?
I am not in a position ro offer monetary reimbursement but am willing to offer a Punk Rock Life Raft in trade.