A great personal tragedy- Friend with benefits moving to Florida...
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I have always complained about the high cost of living in the Bay area, but its even harder for someone making $12 an hour, well my friend with benefits decided it was not worth it and left for Florida. Things were good between us- We used to meet once a week, and were just getting into the relationship groove.
Some of you are wondering what a friend with benefits is. It is someone with whom you have (usually good, sometimes great) sex whenever you are not in a serious monogamous relationship. But isnt that shallow? Isnt that creepy and selfish? Why should a good girl like you consider this?
This is the reasoning- Imagine your fav prof from college explaining this with flip charts or your VP of marketing explaining this using a Powerpoint presentation.
75% of single people have less than 2 partners in a year, and the sexual relationship lasts a few weeks.
Think about it- how many people find a LTR and marriage? I think the lifetime perecentage is about 10% if you are closer 40, so percentage of men/women who begin a LTR in the next 12 months is going to be about 1% at best. So the search for LTR, boyfriend or husband is something that is a long process, possibly taking 5-7 years.
THREE ALTERNATIVES
So you have 3 alternatives in the conventional approach-
you could look for that elusive LTR, soulmate, husband etc.
OR you could have casual sex with strangers
OR you could suffer involuntary celibacy(what people used to call not getting laid..:) )
What is the fourth alternative? The fourth alternative is to have a friend with whom you can have regular sex, while you continue your search for that elusive soulmate. You start seeing person A, after 2 dates he does not call, or you do not like him. You move on to person B, same story. Person C, you meet what looks like a man of your dreams, things are going well. You stop seeing your friend with benefits. Well, the man of your dreams turns out to have have a feet of clay, you go back to your friend with benefits. The longest friend with benefits relationship I know lasted 10 years(age 18 thru 28) till the woman got married.
Not having a friend with benefits is tantamount to being sentenced to involuntary celibacy or to casual sex. Both are very unsatisfying. In other words, the Chance of not getting good sex is 99%. Makes me want to complain to Kofi Annan, Amnesty International and the United Nations. If I were the King of USA, I would mandate a friend with benefits for every single adult in the country. :)
Just because we screwed our past relationships or were too picky or are in medical school or are busy setting up law practise or busy being a single parent... Why should we be denied our basic human right of good regular sex.
So a regular lover makes a lot of sense. You are more relaxed when you date, your risk of having cancer goes down, you are more cheerful and creative at work, and you get laid. :)
What are the other important advantages of Friend with benefits? Your fav prof turns back from the white board and lets the class answer this...
"I am always nervous with a new guy - this wont happen if I am coming back to my Friend with benefits. "
"If I sleep with some random guy, he may not tell me that he has herpes"
"I heard that having fewer partners is the best thing you can do to promote sexual health, with a Friend with benefits I can do that, without getting stuck in a relationship, just coz the sex feels good. "
"I last longer with a woman the fourth time onwards, and my thrusting is more deep, slow and fun to the woman. "
"Hey, I have had guys 'forget' to put on the condom, you need someone who knows what safe sex is. "
So hear is the deal- If you find that special someone feel free to end the friends with benefits relationship, I might do the same. But I am not looking for a relatiosnhip, so you will be the one to end the friend with benefits relationship.
I enjoy good movies, art, a glass of wine, a good game, a good book(right now I am reading the Kamasutra, new translation. Apparently the old translation was done by prudish Brits and is watered down....)- usually I read best sellers and an occasional self improvement type book.
This is not about casual sex. You must be prepared to "commit" to a regular schedule for sex. I need at least once a week. I have never had really great sex the first few times, so casual sex never works for me. So the string is once a week(or more) sex..., which is why this ad is not in casual sex channel.
I am financially secure and able to vacation in luxury all over the world, so you will obviously be welcome to join me. I usually eat out at top rated restaurants. When I vacation and eat out and expect the woman to pay half, if she is also working and has a good job. If she is a student, I usually pay everything. :)
but prefer to cook wonderful food(Italian, Chinese, East Indian, American) . I am one of those rare people who eat less than 4 of their meals a week cooked outside the home. Supposedly men who cook are also good lovers, so here is your chance to test that theory.
I am not expecting a pic, but you should give some idea about your height and dress size. I do not think that a woman who looks like a model or a fitness instructor is necessarily a good and giving lover...
I would prefer if you were like my previous friends with benefits- a single mom who is free only certain days of the week. But a busy college student at Stanford, a busy lawyer, some one who has a lot going on in their life - like a divorce- anything is possible. My best lover was a resident in medical school. I couldnt understand how she had the energy after the long hours, but it was fun trying to keep up with her.
Please be STD free, yes, herpes active or not is a sTD. I am drug and disease free, although I do not mind people who want to do 420.
I am not looking to take you to bed the first time we meet, it is possible that we will meet and become friends and things will not progress further.
May be you liked my posting but are not interested right now, or want to comment on it. Write to me anyway!