SAN FRANCISCO (July 22) – A short time after filing the largest emotional and spiritual bankruptcy admitted on Craig’s List, GreatGuy.Com's chastened but optimistic CEO said that the company hopes to emerge from bankruptcy protection in a very short time with a shrunken emotional debt load and fewer peripheral assets.
“We fought hard to avoid this, but ultimately the board thought that taking this action was the best way to help the greatest number of people,” GreatGuy.Com’s CEO said during a Monday morning telephone conference with one of his best female friends in New York. “Frankly, it is the only sure way to provide for a healthy future.'
The CEO went on to state that the staggering emotional debt load was chiefly caused by women who don’t know what they want, aren’t honest about what they are looking for, play too many games, aren’t real, read too many books on dating rules and such and reliance on these women in the past therefore forced GreatGuy.com to seek emotional bankruptcy protection and that “he hoped a more ‘streamlined’ and competitive company would emerge from the ashes.” “We don't really believe our competitors would be smart to relax during this period," the CEO said.
While discussing Company assets including 6 feet plus of lean and very toned muscular facilities, very nice blue eyes, whopping intelligence, great conversation skills, an adventurous personality, happy disposition, caring attitude, low emotional baggage, repression and inhibitions components, 43 years of industry experience, great balance with respect to personal and professional, high communication skills, a lot of creativity and a well developed infrastructure, the CEO hastened to add that perhaps some suitor might emerge to help the company out of it’s recent situation and that “some kind of merger would definitely be considered and desirable.” The CEO said GreatGuy.com hoped to emulate the successful emergence from bankruptcy protection of many other similarly situated companies. The Company's operations are not affected by the filing, he noted. One analyst noted: “My concern with this scenario is it's unclear what other surprises GreatGuy.com has in store.” 'The internal audit is not complete. At this point we don't know how this is going to turn out, although liquidation is a highly unlikely scenario and it doesn’t appear that the Company has cooked the books in any respect.' The analyst also noted that the only asset the Company lacked was hair, but that “the Company maintains a pretty good looking almost shaved head, with no bar codes, twirls, or other ugly things like bumps, lumps, moles or like undesirable assets.”
GreatGuy.com’s stock price has traded very, very highly in the past. However, shares have slid ever since as the bubble burst and other market forces apparently caused an implosion.
Greatguy.com’s CEO ended by adding that a potential merger partner “would most likely be between the ages of 28 and 40, attractive, slim/slender/toned/athletic, emotionally healthy and able to discuss feelings and emotions, would like adventure and a wide variety of activities” and that “everything else would probably be discovered through the negotiation process.” GreatGuy.com has a snapshot that somewhat reflects some of it’s assets. All potential merger partners are encouraged to have similar.