I'm a single 33 year old female. I date all the time and certainly my skills are improving constantly. But I haven't quite mastered it. I want a serious boyfriend to fall in love with and have decided it will take teamwork.
Therefore, I've decided to form a Romance Advisory Board.
I'm accepting applications for up to six board members. The preferred composition of the board is as follows:
- The ROLE MODEL. 2 heterosexual SINGLE females, age 30 to 35, involved in a succesful, committed relationship of six months or longer.
- THE CYNIC. 1 heterosexual SINGLE bitter female, age 30 to 35, not involved in a relationship because men are assholes and dating sucks
- THE TARGET. 1 heterosexual SINGLE male, age 27 to 35, involved in a succesful, committed relationship of six months or longer.
- THE PLAYA. 1 heterosexual SINGLE male, age 27 to 35, must have had more than 50 female sex partners and be a bit of a scroundrel but with a heart of gold.
- THE QUEEN. 1 homosexual male, age 25 to 35, who is well qualified to advise of fashion, hair, accessories and the art of a BJ. I've always wanted to be a fag hag. Why not kill two bird with one stone?
The board will be required to provide me with information on the aquisition and ownership of a good boyfriend. I want quality here: cute, successful, educated, someone who's presentable enough to meet the friends and family and sexy enough to make me scream. I'm not looking for marriage. Just a great romance.
If you're interested, please send me an e-mail outlining your qualifications and experience for these positions. Travel is not required. Most board meeting will take place by e-mail or Yahoo IM. Maybe a cnference call will be required now and then.
Thanks for reading my ad. I look forward to receiving your response and learning from you in the future.