So the other day I decide to go to get a bikini waxing. The people I usually go to are now closed on my only day off so I get recommended to go to a different salon. Now I'm sure many of you have heard of brazilian waxing, made popular by those anorexic bitch bikini hos everywhere. I too have heard of it but getting hair ripped out of my labia doesn't quite turn me on. However, stupid little me, I talk to the lady about pricing for that too. I then set a time to come in later that day for a regular wax.
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My appointment...ah pure bliss. Nice lady, relaxing music, and painless ripping...all interrupted by the sudden realization that the wax kept being slapped on down there, getting closer and closer to the giny. Now I'm getting kind of nervous, but she's a professional and I told her which wax I wanted, so I relax. Next thing you know, mid-conversation mind you, I feel something warm and tingly on my giny. Now not the warm and tingly I'm used to, oh no, the kind I don't want, the kind I want to be far, far away from. The lady put the f-ing wax further than I wanted. I block out my screaming vagina and yell "What are you doing?! I only wanted a regular bikini wax". To which she replies "Oops...well I have to pull it off now, no turning back."
My vaginal screams of horror suddenly turned to whimpers of fear. I braced myself and waited for the whirlwind of pain to head towards my way. Now at first there was a little twinge but to my relief it was only a smiggen worse than the regular waxing I had already endured. So I relaxed...big mistake. That motherfucker was just warming up. Now I don't know if it was because of my state of relaxation or if it was because I used up all of my adrenalin on the first wax strip but all of a sudden I felt a jolt through my entire body. I felt as if I had been possesed by Kramer from Seinfeld during a mental breakdown.
I know many of you have spoken to yourselves but have you ever yelled in your own ear? It's pretty fucking deafening. So long story short I try to walk it off and once I got home and stared at my shiny red vagina in the mirror to make sure it was still intact. And that is why, my friends, I say Brazilians have big nuts.