Stumbling teen facing a life of twentysomethingdom with back hair seeks same in female for meaningful crutch. Special moments we can relive through our favorite pop songs, long walks on the beach, clubbing baby seals. You must:
not be a Girl.
not have enough time for me, either.
not be the type of person to respond to this ad.
Okay. Wait.
Hip, young dude seeks foxy female companion for adventurous relationship. Fast cars, long nights, classy alcoholic beverages. Girls with account balances under $10k need not apply.
No, that won't do at all.
Gay male seeks straight female to reject. Must be devoted, persistent, tragic. After we're done, I'll be glad to switch roles with you and do the whole thing over again. Email for more info.