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Originally Posted: 2009-05-23 21:47

Pet Ad Translations

Puppy's = PUPPIES
puppie = PUPPY
Applys = APPLIES
rare = degenerate
photo of dogs in a chicken-wire cage = I'm a BYB who's too cheap to buy a kennel
they're 6 weeks old...(or anything under 8) = Unless you have proof that the vet has OKed their separation from their mother (and by all means, state that in your ad if you do), your sale is ILLEGAL in the state of California
Mom is an X, Dad is a Y = I knowingly or accidentally bred these dogs. Either way, you're not "re-homing" them. You're finding their first home, and that's a sale unless you are a 501(c)3
The litter was accidental, I'm not a breeder, it's not my fault = Unless you happened to purchase/adopt a pregnant pooch, there's NO SUCH THING as an accidental litter. It's called negligence when you NEGLECT to spay and your dog unwantingly has puppies. Even if the neighbor's superdog happened to get under/over your fence. Your own damn fault.
Don't flag my ad = There's an obvious reason to flag
OBO = I don't care enough about the dog to find a good home, I just need money and need it fast
I'm downsizing my home, I am moving and can't take with = I'm too cheap/inconsiderate to look for a place for my dog/cat
post in every city = I'm desperate because no one wants my backyard bred dog
purebread = PUREBRED (Unless for some strange reason your dog is white or wheat)
My kid became allergic, I'm having a baby and can't keep my X month old puppy = You didn't do your research and now a poor dog has to suffer. Ignorant.
For Sell = FOR SALE
Saleing = Selling (also, not allowed)
Dog is Hypo-Allergenic...You can have this dog if your kids have allergies!! = Listen, there's NO SUCH THING as a hypo-allergenic dog. The allergens live in the skin (or saliva), not the hair. So get your kids tested, and make sure that if there's a concern, you take the dog on a TRIAL basis. A respectable breeder and rescue would honor that request. Also, while poodles don't shed much, they do shed some. Like humans, you shed cells, hair... Dog's aren't magical.
ask about re-homing fee, email for more info = I'm charging $500 + and am too chicken to post it on here
I can't respond to emails = Well then how the hell did you post? / There shall be no proof of my misdemeanors
AKC/CKC registered = I paid a bit more so that you will pay a helluva lot more and think that it means the dog is quality (if you went to the AKC website you'd realize that any dog listed ask AKC registered that is up for sale is supposed to come with a specific disclaimer attached... but you already knew that didn't you?)
Chiwawa, Chichuachua, Chiuaua, and the best one, Chichuaga = CHIHUAHUA
Doxon = You don't know anything about the breed you're trying to sell
part Datsun= Perhaps it's a Japanese mixed breed. Hopefully it has low mileage.
-ipoo, -doodle, pom/x, and other crazy mixes = I'm trying to make it sound like a designer breed, even though it was really an accident/bred for quick $$ without considering the individual qualities of the breeds I mixed
wanted, X breed dog for cheap or free = #1, how about you do a search, or even a google search for local breed clubs. #2, use the 'wanted' section of CL where it's also not allowed to post requesting animal sales fyi, #3 most of you sound like you should never own a dog, let alone the breed you're asking for
I want $1000+ for my puppy = I live on another planet
I'm selling my .... = I can't read the craigslist rules
I will pay you to rent your dog to mate with my dog = Again, can't read the craigslist rules
thanks for flagging, you're just helping me = This is my last attempt to get flaggers off my back / I'm panicking
All rescues suck = I'm a breeder / I was rejected by a rescue / I make gross generalizations without research
doesn't have shots / not spayed/neutered = I'm too cheap of a breeder to do it myself, so on top of a $300 're-homing' fee I expect you to do it yourself
I need to re-home my 8 week old puppy. I'm not a breeder. = 8 weeks is the minimum age you can sell a dog unless you have vet approval. If you have to re-home an 8 week old dog, you're an @$$#@!E or a breeder. Either way, you fail.
"Get rid of" = I can't even pretend I care
kitten wanted/looking for kitten to adopt=i'm too lazy to look at a single craigslist page and therefore haven't noticed the dozens of ads for kittens posted nearly every day.
i'm having a baby and can't keep my cat= what exactly do you think that your cat is going to do to a baby? even if your kitty is temperamental, overly rambunctious, or has a fondness for sleeping on people's faces (a potential hazard around an infant); unless your cat is superkitty it shouldn't be too difficult to close her out of the baby's room--and the rest of the time one can assume that baby is under your close eye.
I want to trade my... = I have a short attention span and lack a heart. I treat my pets like baseball cards.
flaggers are bored, loser, lame, lop, nothing else better to do, spouseless, kidless, jobless (unless CL hired them), petless, no social skills besides those applied to flagging/ranting/raving, most likely P.E.T.A advocates. = If flaggers are worthless and have no friends, pets, etc... why are your panties in a bunch about them. If they don't matter to you, you aren't showing it. By the way, I'm a flagger. I have a job that pays pretty darn well. It gives me the time to come home, play with my pups (multiple) and take them to the dog park, network professionally and socially when applicable, was voted onto homecoming court and best personality way back when, participate in volunteering efforts, have friends globally, and don't have any interest in PETA. I'm curious where you're getting your facts... try taking a 'flagger' poll. I guarantee you there's no one type of person that flags posts. Seems you fit into that lovely category of 'gross generalizations'.

Feel free to email me with more suggestions to add to this list. Angry posts from breeders and haters will be entertaining. I'd be happy to share them on here too.

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