I can't stand it. It's petite. It's diminutive. It's barely there. I have strained myself trying to look at it from all possible angles, but it remains a dwarfish appendage. The only thing it's got going for it - and even this is arguable - is that it's straight. Of course, it's too short to have any noticeable curvature. It's a humming bird perch, a light switch, a single candy dot, a thumb tack attaching my bat-winged sac to my pudgy frame. It's a source of disappointment to all who see it. It fails to inspire. It promises only some amateurish wriggling and nominal sensation. And I don't go down.