And because it is almost Christmas (which is the greatest day in the whole wide world), I am selling this completely BRAND NEW AND UNOPENED Elf movie! It is still wrapped in its shiny, magical plastic, so it has absolutely zero scratches from the Central Park Rangers.
I was going to use it to decorate the mailroom, but Walter said I need to "be practical" and "sell things for human currency." So, it can be yours for just FOUR DOLLARS! That is practically cheaper than a bottle of maple syrup!