Congratulations, Democrats! You magnificent &*(^%$# idiots just freed Donald Trump from the Republican congressional clown show.
You won Congress expecting to paralyze his presidency. Meanwhile, Trump retains executive authority, existing enforcement powers, and more than $105 billion in previously enacted multiyear immigration funding. That money doesn't evaporate because Chuck Schumer throws a tantrum, and enforcing existing federal law doesn't require another round of Republican congressional ass-kissing.
Which brings us to the spectacular collection of useless bastards who spent two years calling themselves Trump's allies.
Republicans controlled Congress and somehow turned governing into a hostage negotiation with themselves. Every senator wanted a concession. Every congressman had a donor to protect. Every meaningful priority disappeared into another procedural clusterfuck while voters watched their supposed representatives manufacture excuses for accomplishing jack shit.
And now Democrats have taken away their leverage.
Think about the breathtaking stupidity of this political celebration. Schumer and Jeffries are practically wetting themselves over subpoenas, hearings, and investigations, apparently convinced that controlling congressional committees means controlling the presidency. They're preparing two years of televised outrage while Trump can concentrate on immigration enforcement, federal permitting, executive administration, and implementing laws already passed.
Even better, the Republican establishment loses its favorite bargaining chip: threatening to withhold votes unless Trump protects somebody's politically connected little empire.
No more endless negotiations with congressional Republicans demanding exceptions for their buddies. No more pretending another legislative compromise is the prerequisite for enforcing laws already on the books.
Trump has two years to deliver, and the excuses have run out.
The delicious irony is that Democrats spent a fortune winning Congress, popped the champagne, declared Trump politically crippled, and started rehearsing their impeachment speeches.
Then somebody forgot to tell the celebrating morons that they'd just removed one of the biggest obstacles standing between Trump and his own agenda.
Congratulations, Democrats. You bought yourselves Congress and accidentally repossessed the Republican clown car that had been blocking Trump's driveway.