I'm not looking for a gentleman with a Master's degree.
Not looking for a tall, athletic, well-hung stud.
Not looking for Prince Charming, a knight in shining armor, or a soul mate.
I prefer walking on the beach alone.
What I really want is a freak. Not just a kinky, horny kinda freak. I want a real-life circus sideshow freak.
While Siamese twins are the very VERY best I could hope for, I'm willing to settle (it's okay) for any of the following:
Bat Boy
Wolfman
Bendy Boy
A Sword Swallower (literal translation only)
Alligator Man
Frog Man
Lobster Boy
Missing Link
Rubber Man
The Dude Who Can Fry Eggs on His Forehead
900-lb Man
Lizard Man/Gene Simmons
This is just a sampling of the freaks I've already decided that I would sleep with. If you're a circus freak, but not on this list, email me anyway! Maybe you've got something I want.
I'm not trying to be judgemental, but Bearded Ladies do NOT classify as men, and even if they send photos, I will not reply to their email.
I am not a sideshow freak, although I have always wanted to be a trapeze artist. Maybe you can hook me up with lessons? I'm pretty normal in most ways. Nobody knows I secretly fantasize about Monkey Boy flinging poo at me.
I want you to hide in the coat closet of my house. I'll come home and kick off my shoes, then you jump out of the closet and waggle your abnormalities at me. Then I'll scream in terror and we'll have hot sex and stuff.