I'll pay YOU to take this Bon Jovi CD off my hands
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I made this terrible mistake about a month ago and bought (on a whim) this God-awful new Bon Jovi CD, the one where they remake all of their classic hits with a new wussy sensibility for 2004. I thought, "Hey, I love Bon Jovi, I've always loved Bon Jovi, and Prayer '94 off of their greatest hits album Crossroads is one of the greatest re-makes of a song ever, so how bad can this be?"
The answer: bad. Very very bad. This album sucks so bad that after one listening I've thrown it in the back of my car where it pains me to even look at it. I wish I could pretend the whole incident never even happened, but my stupid friends for whom the only 80's music worth listening to involve ambiguously gay Brit rockers wearing make up and ripped leather won't let me forget this stupid purchase. My only consolation is that albums at Best Buy are relatively cheap, so I only spent $11 on it.
I don't even want any money for it. In fact, I'll pay you $.50 if you'd be so kind as to remind this horrendous piece of pitiful filth out of my life. You can have the $.50 any way you want: quarters, pennies, any combination of nickles and dimes; I'll even get you a cashier's check. Just get this waste of precious backseat space out of my life, and into the home of someone who perhaps doesn't want to commit violent acts everytime they think about owning this album.