You: late 20's, early 30's woman driving east on Rt. 50 in Falls Church, around 5:00, Monday, 1/5/04, in a silver Toyota SUV. You were obviously a VIP headed to a critical meeting with similarly important people. I loved the way you leaned on your horn every time some peasant driver got in your way, swerved recklessly through traffic, and ignored social convention (who's got time for those?!) by refusing to use your turn signals. You sexy beast, rulebreakers are so hot! You not only honked at me, you favored me with "the bird", so I know you think I'm especially equipped to serve your majesty.
Me: smitten 29 y.o. peasant driver, not nearly as important as you, but aware of my place in the world relative to your greatness. I thoughtlessly dared to merge into an open lane coming off the ramp at a mere 10 miles over the speed limit, when you were coming up from behind. Who cares if it was completely safe for me to do so, I should have known that *you* needed that lane, even though there were two others to choose from, and driven off the ramp into a tree. Maybe I should do that now, as punishment for daring to briefly inconvenience you.
I know we're meant to be together--otherwise I wouldn't have seen you at the next 3 stoplights. Anyway, if you read this, I hope you choke to death on a pretzel you fucking bitch.