re: Here's the Deal - m4w

Let me state all this now before anything happens... Now, you should take this as fair warning. A few months down the road, I don't want to hear about you having an "issue" with any of these things.
Duly noted

Yes, it is true that I have a master's degree from a top 5 university. I'm really sorry that you don't. I'm not sorry that I don't. I specifically chose not to...but thanks for your concern. I do not necessarily think that this makes me smarter than you. And in fact, you are most likely not smarter than me. However, it has come to my attention that you have "issues" with the fact that you think that I might be smarter than you.

You've never met me, so whatever "issues" I possess are a complete mystery to you.

I like sex. I like sex A LOT. Now, I do not mean "a lot" as in "I really like it." I mean "a lot" as in "I like it a lot at a time." I enjoy having sex over and over and over again. One time just doesn't do it for me. Whatever. You may think you like it a lot, but are truly prepared for my level of eroticism? You don't possess the dementia required to even come close to comprehending what goes on inside my bedroom. You'll be worthless, spent and ruined for any other man after an evening with me. The greater the sex, the more excited and enthusiastic I will be about seeing you. No offense, but i'm not dying for you to be excited about seeing me. Please do not bitch about my lack of enthusiasm about sitting on the couch with you, watching a movie, and having sex one time for 5 minutes. You'll be begging for a 5 minute session after I'm through with you. I'll show you erogenous zones you didn't even know existed. Obviously, I enjoy your company or I would not keep seeing you. However, more effort in the bedroom on your part would help my enthusiasm level. You'll only want me for sex...everything else will be overshadowed in comparison to the raw passion I unleash in you.

I don't ooohhh and aahhhh at the sight of babies or kittens. I don't latch onto your arm as if my life depends on it when out in public. I don't flip through bridal magazines and dream about my fantasy wedding. In fact, I'm not sure I ever want to get married. If you would prefer a girl who's life goal consists of marriage, babies, cute kittens, and parading you around in public, I am not the girl for you. You are very likely not the girl for me. But that won't stop you...you'll be calling at all hours in the night for just one more "go". Just a little "quickie"...another chance to lie naked in a sweaty pool of bankrupt debauchery. You think that won't happen? You'll see...

I was groupie. Yes, it's true, I have a past. I have made out with/gone down on/had sex with five musicians. Now, I think five is a rather small number. However, I suppose it is the fact that they were famous musicians whose albums you own that freaks you out? Maybe it's my fault for being honest. If you bring the subject up, I will be honest with you about it.

Your experiences are the mere wistful longings of a catholic school marm compared to my vast forays into the dungeons of sin. You've sucked a few cocks in your time? Big fucking deal...tell me about the all night orgies and how many people snorted coke out of your pussy. Tell me about guys stuffing their cocks in your ass two at a time....then we'll talk.

I sleep with the tv on. I need to have the tv on and tuned into a news channel (MSNBC, CNN, or Fox News) in order to sleep. I will not be offended if you choose not to the stay the night because of this. However, I would ask in return that you not be offended when I choose not to stay at your place because you can't sleep with the tv on.

The mere fact that you mention Fox News proves that you haven't got the stamina, desire, passion or freakiness to set foot in my realm.

I smoke. If it truly bothers you, I will do my best to not smoke around you. However, I have no intentions of quitting. You insisting on me quitting will only make we want to smoke more.

I don't want you to quit, it turns me on...I want you to smoke three packs a day and then have a cigar after dinner.

I like my independence. I don't have this overwhelming urge to call 10 of my cloest friends before I decide to go to a bar or a concert. I just go. This means that I will sometimes take off somewhere without checking in with you and inviting you along. I'm sorry that you have an "issue" with the fact that you are not the first thing on my mind at all times.

Then don't be upset when you come home and I'm fucking a couple of your friends...in fact, maybe you should just get naked and join in.

So there it is. Don't tell me you weren't warned.
I'll keep that in mind...you should do the same.