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Originally Posted: 2006-02-28 14:06

10 reasons why I hate being a woman:

10 reasons why I hate being a woman:

1) I am so sick of my period! One-third of every month is negatively affected by my period. I am either sick from cramps, bloated beyond belief, on it, finishing it, too emotional, not emotional at all, or just simply not myself. The right months are worse than the left ones. Ortho, Depo and the others do nothing to help.

2) I hate make-up. I went to work today without make-up (I feel like crap already) and the first thing I hear when I sit down is a co-worker saying "I see you woke up late this morning, you should put your face on before anyone else sees you like that"... WTF, this is my face... it is a cute face... I like it just the way it is. Why do I have to put on a show for everyone around me, hell some of the guys here don't even shave before coming to work... they wear the same tired clothes every week... so why do I need to bother?

3) I have to be a slave to fashion. Same as the make-up situation, god forbid if I wear my most comfortable pants to work, or an out of style outfit that I personally like. Why do I have to spend a couple thousand dollars a year on clothes and accessories, why do all of my friends want to shop all of the time. This is a sickness, and I am sick of it. I wish I could dress like a guy, in the same suit I bought in 1999 and the same tie that I have worn every week for the past three years. That would be nice!

4) My bra has never fit me right! Why can't I find a bra that fits me perfectly? One that is slightly adjustable to compensate for my ever changing body? With the right cup just slightly larger than the left cup, one that provides just the right amount of support. Is this too much to ask, retailers have put significant effort into the feminine hygiene realm, perhaps they could divert some of their R&D monies away from moisture lock technologies and into making the perfect bra. If only I was a little smaller, then I could go without.

5) I hate the following terms: Pussy, Slit, Cooche, Cunt, Snatch, Cooter, Beaver, Hole, Muff, Twat, and Clam... I also hate Titties, Boobies, Funbags, Melons and any other idiotic name people come up with for my body parts. I have a vagina and breasts or tits. Easy as that. Can you say Vagina? I hope so.

6) Double standards: Men get away with murder in the business world. Women are held to a much higher degree of scrutiny and to a much higher standard than men. When men talk they are networking, when women talk we are gossiping... when men make mistakes they are risk takers, when women make mistakes we are incompetent, when men argue they are debating, when women argue we are being catty. You get the idea. I am just as smart, if not smarter than most of my coworkers, but I will always get stuck behind a guy with 'ambition and drive', especially when I spend a good portion of my month focusing on my insides (see #1).

7) Sex is different for women. Men take great pride in bedding women, as many and as often as possible. If a women expresses her sexuality she is a whore, tramp or slut. Rightly so sometimes... there is no female equivalent to the blow job, a blow job is a power trip for the guy... I am on my knees in front of him or with my head around his waist in some fashion, pleasuring him until he finishes, then it is up to me to clean up while he basks in the satisfaction. If he goes down on me, it is a different experience, there is no power exchange, he is still in a powerful position (legs apart is always vulnerable) and he is still happy to see my vagina. The picture alone is worth ten minutes of licking on his part. Don't even get me started on penetration...

8) My yearly gyno appointment. enough said, I wish I could just turn my head and cough, just once!

9) The bathroom! Ok, I am not going to talk about the cleanliness of bathrooms and the hygiene habits of women, that has been covered ad nauseum on this board. I am going to say that I wish I could be a little neater when I pee, I can't stand that first dribble that tends to go somewhere other than in the bowl if I am not sitting. The squat pee (which I have to do given the state of the restrooms in some places) is never neat for me. No need for graphic details here.

10) My mother and all other women who feel that I am breaking the social contract by not having children. I have enough issues with my girly parts already, I can't imagine what having a child would do to me. I also don't feel like bringing new babies into the current world, so don't tell me that I should. Don't say that I should 'start looking for a husband' {wink} because I am getting older... why don't you tell the guys, 'better get serious about a family, your time is ticking'...

I hate the double standards, the 1950s restrictions that still apply today, the fact that every body that sees me thinks that I am a walking baby factory, that I need to put on a show for them to attract a suitable man to take care of me so that I can bear his children. I want comfortable clothes, a man to truly understand vulnerability, especially sexual vulnerability without getting freaky about it. I want the same priveleges that men have. Is that too much to ask?

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