Man Pet

Ok, you've tried a fish tank, a cat, and a dog.    All great pets, but something is missing.
Allow me to indulge in a comparison with a popular pet, a bit of bake off you might say.

Things a dog can do, and so can I

• Sit.
• Be loyal.
• Long walks.
• Fetch a Frisbie or tennis ball. (not with my teeth, so no slobber)
• Stick my head out the window while driving.
• Be house broken.
• Low cost. (single meal a day and water is fine with me)
• Keep your feet warm in winter.
• Get fixed.
• Run fast, but not up/down the stairs.
• Follow you around.
• Enjoy head petting and hair brushing.

Things a dog does, but I don't

• Chase other dogs, cats, or cars.
• Bark. (could if you want me to I guess)
• Go to the vet.
• Sniff butts or crotches.
• Drink toilet water.
• Sleep on your bed while you are at work.
• Pee/poo someplace other than in the toilet.
• Lick my own genitals.

Things a dog can't do, but I do

• Be short or long haired.
• Shower/bathe daily.
• Remove my own fleas/ticks.
• Do chores. (windows, toilets, dishes, laundry, whatever)
• Put up a better fight against intruders. (i.e. call 911)
• Faux boy friend to ward off all the other strange men.
• Dance. (well, at least I can lead)
• Open a pickle jar.
• Brush your hair.
• Answer the phone, and take a message.
• Drive a car.
• Rent movies.
• Have a master's degree in philosophy.
• Play tennis and putt putt golf.
• Conversation.
• Cook.
• Cuddle. (ok, maybe a dog can do that)

While I'm not exactly offering myself up as your slave, this is an opportunity to be the first on your block to have a man pet.    Why settle for a lesser species when you can own the top of the food chain.    I'm available for immediate placement, so bring me home today.
If called I currently answer to Chris, but you could rename me.

If you require a pic or sex 24/7, I'm probably not the pet for you.