Originally Posted: 2008-06-17 12:44

To all those who ride transit...

I just have ONE simple request.

I don't care about your annoying spawn that's kicking the back of my seat, or screaming so loud only dogs can hear them.

I don't care about the little old Asian lady who literally moshed her way to the front of the crowd like she was at a Ministry concert in order to get a seat on the skytrain, almost knocking people over like a set of Dominos.

I don't care that your over-sized TnA bag has now bumped me in the ass/legs/arm/head so many times I'll be bruised and look like a leopard.

I don't care that you wore so much cheap knock-off Britney Spears perfume it's permanently damaged my sinuses.

I don't care that everytime you turn the page of your 24 or Metro that you elbow me in the tit.

I don't care that you play your ipod so loudly I can hear it over my own. I was quite amused when I saw you strut onto the skytrain, dressed like you were on your way to a Slayer concert only to hear Mariah Carey echoing from your headphones when you sat next to me.

I don't care that when I'm attempting to step off the skytrain you basically anihillate me by charging ONTO the train before I can even get off of it.

I don't care that you talk on your cellphone so loudly I'm now informed of your friend Trisha's yeast infection.

No. I will not ask any of the above people to stop those albeit annoying habits that I seem to encounter every day to and from work.

My only request - and you know who you are - Take a goddamn motherfucking SHOWER before you get on any form of public transit. Seriously!
There I am, innocently sitting down in my seat at 7:30am and you park down next to me ... smelling like you pissed yourself 8 days ago and are wearing the SAME clothes you wore that you pissed yourself in.

Honestly, do you not even NOTICE that you smell like a golden shower? Do you not even care that everyone around you is obviously starting to tuck their faces into their jackets inhaling their Britney Spears perfume just to drown out the smell of your rotting carcass?

What's it going to take to put "Must not smell like busted ass chunks" on the rules of riding public transit?

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