I’m just another busy person always on the go. I recently moved to a new place and bought a fantastic bed that I love. While so caught up in my day to day life, I have not had time to develop a romantic relationship lately. But when I come home at the end of the day and get in bed, it feels very empty.
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I have thus decided to take applications for a bed-filler.
This is NOT a sex thing. If anything, it might be more appropriate to post this in the housewares section… but anyways.
-25 years old, straight single female
-5’8”, blond, hazel eyes, thick/curvy
-often restless/occupied when I get in bed; in need of soothing, relaxation
-1 full sized bed, located in nice room in nice basement suite
-2 new pillows for sleeping – none of those annoying throw pillows
-1 blue fleece blanket decorated with reindeer (don’t ask)
-room temperature kept cool as to facilitate snuggling (see below)
-one straight, single man
-between the ages of 25 and 30 years old
-minimum 6 feet tall, 6’2” is better, 6’4” is most desireable and also the maximum height sought
-must practice good hygiene, smell pleasant and regularly manscape if his body hair is excessive in volume
-piercings and tattoos to be considered on individual basis
-must enthusiastically cuddle, snuggle and spoon me
-must NOT scratch himself excessively in the morning and NEVER Dutch-oven me
-must limit alcohol intake to 2 beers on any night he is acting as bed-filler
-must seek medical consul if he consistently snores when not drunk, sick
-should occasionally play with my hair
What the successful applicant receives:
-the satisfaction of helping me sleep better
-sleeping with a girl who’s hair always smells nice
-free dream interpretation in the morning (just a weird gift I have)
Applicants who can demonstrate ESP skills, thus knowing which nights and at what times I need my bed-filler without my explicit request, will be given priority in the short listing phase. Amusing and/or insightful pillow talk may be rewarded with kisses or tea (to be decided at the discretion of the bed-filler).
Thanks and good luck!