Originally Posted: 2009-11-14 23:22 (no longer live)

This post is different from the others...

…and here’s why:

People always start their posts by saying "I'm new to Craig's List." Well,

1. I'm not new to Craig's List.

I love Craig's List. I love lists in general (which you’ll soon realize), but especially Craig’s.  Why?

·      I met one of my best friends on CL when I answered her ad seeking a roommate.

·      I recently bought an awesome piece of furniture I didn't even know I needed, but now can't fathom how I went 25 years without.

·      The "best of" section is an amazing way to waste spend time.

I've been on two CL dates before. Neither was successful, but you don't give up after two bad dates in real life so why do it here?  Which brings me to my next point...

2. I think people should approach online interactions like real life ones.

If you would not say something on a first date, don’t put it in your post/ response.  Meeting online is not an excuse to skip the small talk and go straight to making demands or asking personal questions (which reminds me, I have a funny story to tell you about the aforementioned CL dates).

Find things we have in common and talk about them, find things we don’t have in common and tell me something I don’t know.  Remember back in the old days when we developed crushes in real life? Through conversation, laughter, mutual respect…I like having crushes and I like a little intrigue.

Some things you could reasonably expect to know about someone you just met in real life:

·      Just looking at me you’d know I’m tall (5'7") with long brunette hair and fit (but not skinny).

·      If I stopped you on the street to ask for directions or advice about Toronto you might learn that I just moved here a month ago from Amsterdam.

·      If you shared a table with me at Starbucks on a Saturday evening and asked what I’m doing here, I’d tell you I don’t know anyone in Toronto yet.  You’d think, “Wow, she must be very independent and adventurous – she moved here alone.” You’d ask why and I’d explain I came for a job - I work in IT Security.  You’d probably think, “she doesn’t look like a nerd” but you’d be pleasantly surprised to find out that I am one.

·      If we sat together on a plane, we may talk about my passion for traveling.

·      If you bought me a drink at a bar, well – you’d know I prefer pubs to clubs and love live music. I’d order a beer and look you in the eyes when we said, “cheers” (Do they say “cheers” in Canada?)

·      If you saw me in line at the grocery store you’d see that I love to cook and probably notice I usually cook for one.

·      If you noticed me in a bookstore you’d realize that I’m curious about almost everything and I love to read (almost as much as I love to write).

If any of these situations actually happened, I’d talk to you.  But these days, they don’t happen enough (turns out it’s not just me – you guys are here too ;) So here I am on Craig’s List.  And just like in real life…

3. I’m not going to make a list of requirements:

You never know who is going to make you happy.  Maybe it is (gasp) someone with blond hair! But I’d never know if I posted an ad saying that I absolutely can not will not shall not respond unless yours is brown.  That said…

4. I want to see your picture.  Full disclosure: because I want to make a snap judgment.

People claim they want to see photos in order to verify the responder is a real woman/man/person.  They are lying.  I want to see your photo, not because I'm shallow or superficial and want to make sure you’re “hot.”  I want to see it because the photo you send tells me a lot about you.  It tells me how you see yourself, how you want others to see you (just like your appearance does in real life).

·      If you wear your NY hat sideways with the sticker still on and make a peace sign sideways above your head - I don't think I'm going to respond.  I love to laugh but would prefer to do so with you, not at you.  There is a girl out there for you; it's just not me.

·      If you are shirtless, flexing in front of a mirror, or if the photo is obscene - I don't think I'm going to respond.  That tells me what you think of me already, and we haven't even met. Quite frankly, I'm insulted.

·      If I can't see your face - I don't think I'm going to respond.  I’d probably avoid a person who hid from me in real life and I will do the same online.

So to be fair, I have posted my own photo.  I hope I get to meet you in real life.



  • Location: Toronto Midtown
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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