Guys, I owe you an apology
My first experience was with a life-long lesbian, and, given her experience and comfort with the whole thing, she took the lead. I wasn't really aware of that because, as a life-long heterosexual, it didn't play out all that differently from the encounters I'd had with men (until we started touching each other, that is). A few months later I met Jen through a mutual friend. Jen and I had a lot in common and as we chatted we learned we had something very interesting in common: we both wanted to have sex with another woman. This revelation came very early in our friendship, and we were obviously attracted to each other, so it seemed inevitable we would end up in bed together. Jen had never been with a woman before, though, so as the more experienced person I ended up taking the lead, taking the male role.
So there we were, two young, healthy, horny women, hot for each other. I figured getting her naked would be no big deal. Was I fucking mistaken. We went on date after date, talking endlessly about who knows what. The whole time I couldn't relax - I kept trying to read her signals, what she said, her body language, trying to figure out if tonight would be the night. It was very strange - I usually loved talking with girlfriends, but this just made me feel exhausted and stupid. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn't I make it happen? And then it dawned on me: this is what guys do ALL THE TIME.
So we did eventually do it, and we had a great time. I thought after that I would be more relaxed, but I was wrong again. It did get easier with each successive encounter, but only slightly. I still felt that pressure to read her mind. Only after 3 or 4 times did I finally feel comfortable with her, and then she moved out of town. We still email and see each other occasionally.
So guys, I have seen into your world, and I can say now, you definitely have it tougher than we do. I feel your pain. And ladies, if you're reading this, go easy on them. If you want to get it on, just let them know. They're killing themselves trying to figure it out. And that's just getting in the way of some potentially good fucking.