Originally Posted: 2006-05-19 11:44

re: this blows

Okay dear, you've gotten alot of nasty comments on this thread, so I'm going to jump in and share my experience. I am a wife of 8 years who does not love to give blow jobs. My husband - like all men, loves blow jobs. So here is my advice / experience.
You need to communicate with him first. Sex is maybe 10% of your future. It should not be the issue on which your future is decided. If it is, then there are greater issues at play. Let him know that you need time to warm up to his need for a bj, let him know what you don't like. If he's stinky, he needs to wash it. If his bush is a jungle, maybe he needs to trim it, if it means no coming in your mouth until you are ready, for that, then tell him.
If you let him know how uncomfortable you are, he should let you go at your own pace which means you are in control. Don't look at it as something you are being made to do, look at it as something you are learning to do.
Now, as dumb as this sounds, go to the store, buy an accurate cucumber, and practice on it. Work it in and out, breathe, watch TV, do whatever, get used to the feeling, let your mouth and throat relax. Inhale through your nose as it goes in, exhale as it goes out, this will help with any gag reflex issues you have (if inhaling stinky man-bush is the cause of gagging this will obviously not help - this will work for the something-is-down-my-throat gagging) Focusing on strategic breathing will also draw your focus away from what you are doing if it bothers you so much. Use your hands as well. You can really focus on the top couple of inches with your mouth, and work your hands on the shaft. The blow job is not all about the deep throat. Pay attention to the head, work your right hand up & down the shaft, let it get all slick with spit if you aren't using a flavored lube. Every few strokes bob down - but keep it at your pace. This might sound mechanical, but it won't be as you get more comfortable. If he's one of these who wants to pull your hair and mash your face down, then you need to have a talk with him.
Try 69. The only time I really love giving head is during 69. It's amazing how easy it is to swallow a whole penis when you're being eaten.
Remember, this is a process, and you MUST communicate with him. If you are too shy or afraid to communicate with him about this, then you need to think about how you will talk about greater issues than blow jobs
This is just from my own experience. I am not cock-hungry, I don't jump at the chance to give a bj, BUT I have gone from being a penisphobe, to giving a bj pretty happily. I'm not saying I LOVE it, BUT I can muster some enthusiasm and it makes him SO happy. If I can make him that happy in 20 minutes or less, then it's worth it. We do have rules - I don't swallow, and the cock must be clean. But after 8 years, it's not a big whoop. Most of our sex is great creative sex, I love having sex with him, but it's not a huge part of the success of the marriage as a whole.
Best of luck to you.

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