...as a surrogate-me so that i don't have to be at work all day long.
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i have a good job - it's just kinda boring at times. i'm looking to score a monkey, chimp, orangatuan, small gorilla or a pint sized yeti even to do my job so that i can go screw off for a while. there's really not much to it - i'll go in at 6:30, do all of the paperwork & whatnot by nine, and then it's smooth sailing until six or seven at night. the helper mammal might have to answer an occasional phone or put something in a box, but that's about it. i can even train my new friend to forward the call to a human that actually has a good reason to be at work.
if you or someone you know has such a pet or knows where i might liberate one (the zoo, some lab in berkeley, a hollywood movie set), drop a line. i swear that i'd be very nice to the little guy...
thanks in advance!