Originally Posted: 2002-08-08 4:28pm

favorite this post Lil' Unicorn is getting pissed off! (photo) - $1

My feelings are so hurt! I tried to be nice and made a plea to your common sense on how I am a great imagination boosting stick unicorn.  I know you are letting your children rot their brains out sitting in front of some sort to idiot tube playing video games or watching TV. But no! You ridicule and mock me.  You've offered to let your dog chew me up and have wanted to know if I am flammable, but you still wouldn't come and get me.  Someone wanted to know how big my horn is.  It's 9" and almost 4" wide at the base which is big enough for whatever the heck you had in mind!

At one dollar you better buy me pretty soon or I'm going to have a self-esteem problem. I'll end up at the dog parks tormenting the dogs who can't jump high enough to get me but when they aren't looking are going to feel my horn up their butts. I'll visit children's windows at night and scare the daylights out of them and rumors of the mystical haunted Unicorn will travel throughout the city. I'll steal their Pokemon and Yugio cards and eat them.  I'll leave mystical Unicorn crap on their Playstation machines. I'll tinkle on their Power Ranger dolls. In the end I'll set myself on fire and and fling myself into an arcade parlor engulfing the entire establishment.

So buy me or else!

post id: 5093207