Originally Posted: 2002-08-07 10:32am
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favorite this post It's great to be a cat.

Normally, I couldn't be bothered with something as silly as this "It's great to be a man/It's great to be a woman" debate. Usually, I'd rather just sleep on the couch or scratch something.

But I feel compelled to offer my two cents.

<< kack!! kkaaa-hhaaack! >>

Sorry about that. Furball.

See, the real issue is this: it's great to be a cat. Male OR female--it doesn't matter.

For all of you "dog people" out there, I'll type slower so you can understand. It's...great...to...be....a...cat. Got it?

Here are some reasons why:

1. We sleep and eat all day while you work.

2. We know how to get on the internet (unlike dogs who are still trying to figure out the doorknob).

3. We have attitude. (Or, as some SOMA kitties like to say, "cattitude.")

4. Ladies: would you rather be described as a "sex kitten" or a "dog"?

5. What sound would you rather hear from your date: "mrrrow!" or "ruff!"?

6. We're civilized. We know how to savor our meals. (Unlike dogs, who mow through their entire bowl of food in five seconds. I mean, c'mon, do they even TASTE it?)

7. Would you rather be called a "hip cat" or a "sick puppy"?

8. Catnip. (Is there any "Dognip"? I don't think so...)

9. On the rare occasions a cat and dog are in the same room (assuming they get along), no one EVER blames a fart on the cat.

10. We don't "fetch." If we happen to chase after something you throw, it becomes OURS.

There are many, many more reasons, but I'm sure some dog owners' eyes are starting to glaze over, so I'll stop here.

Before I go, I'd like to give a quick "meow" out to Larry the Tabby in the Sunset. Sorry to hear about the neutering, man. You'll get used to it.

Sincerely,
Simon the cat
(Richmond District, San Francisco)


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Contrary to what you might think, I have several dog friends. I just can only take them in doses...

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