There's a Floating, Magical, Killer Rat with Fangs in my Garage
QR Code Link to This Post
My giddiness is tempered by the fact that I can't go home today. I can't go home because there is a giant killer rat in our garage. I just want to say I'm really glad that the rat decided to come out after all my male roommates left for the Thanksgiving holiday, leaving me to fight him on my own.
Over the last two weeks, we've had a slight mouse problem in our garage. We have a refrigerator in our garage for alcohol and other assorted things, and every time one of us went out to get a drink, we would see a mouse. We set some traps out and caught 12 mice in one day. The other day I went to get a drink and I noticed that two of the traps were flipped over, the food gone, and no mouse was in the trap. Curious.
Last night after work, I was going to make myself an omelette, so I went out to the garage refrigerator to get some eggs. The garage was pitch black. I was feeling around, trying to find the light, and I heard some very loud scratching. This motivated me to find the light really fast.
That's when I saw the rat - big, gray, angry, possessing fangs. Okay, maybe the fangs were not technically visible, but they were suggested. I jettisoned the eggs and ran in the house. Because I'm obsessed with MS Paint now, I drew a picture* so you could feel like you were right there with me:
*Breasts may not be drawn to scale.
I don't know why the rat appears to be hovering in mid-air. Perhaps he has magical skills. Yes, I appear topless in the pictures, because I often make omelettes topless. Like you don't.
I showed the picture to my coworker TomDazzle and he was like, "What is an "ample hearing chest?" It says HEAVING, not hearing. Shit. My breasts are fantastic, but they aren't able to hear. I'm so misunderstood.
post id: 50118177