FOR SALE/TRADE/BARTER:
-CANS SIX THROUGH TWELVE OF ONE WEEK OLD BUD LIGHT TWELEVE PACK
-TWELVE OUNCES OF EXACTLY ONE PART WHISKEY, ONE PART WATER
(must provide valid I.D. for liquor purchaces! - THE COPS)
-TWO HUNDRED THIRTY-SEVEN BROWN M&M'S (OZZY MADE ME DO IT)
-ONE HALF PACK OF UNCLE BEN'S PREMIUM RICE
-ONE '89 COMMADORE AMIGO COMPUTING CONSOLE
-THREE (YES THREE!) MINT CONDITION YUGOS
-ONE $50 GIFT CERTIFICATE TO HANDY JACK'S MASSAGE PARLOR
+++++++++++++ SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY!!! ++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++ HEADDED TO JAIL +++++++++ ALL MUST GO!!!!!!!!!!++++++++++
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DO TO OVERWHELMING RESPONSE TO MY POST (THANK YOU VERY MUCH), I HAVE DECIDED TO ADD A LIST OF ITEMS THAT I CAN USE DURING MY STATE-SPONSORED VACATION.
-ONE GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD
OR
-A PARDON FROM THE TERMINATOR HIMSELF
BUT IF NOT . . .
-A CHASTITY BELT MADE FROM ANY NON-FERROUS METAL (MAGNETS ARE DANGEROUS)
-A PET SQUIRREL (PREFERABLY ONE TRAINED TO WARD OFF GANG RAPISTS)
-ANY ITEM THAT I CAN WHITTLE INTO A SHANK
-12-15 YEARS (OR TEN FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR) WORTH OF CIGARRETES
-DO-IT-YOURSELF NINJA MANUALS
-LOTS O' PORN
-A ONE WAY TICKET TO ANY COUNTRY W/OUT EXTRADITION LAWS
-ONE "EXIT ONLY" TATTOO FOR MY LOWER BACK
-OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU CAN THINK OF THAT WILL HELP KEEP MY POOR VIRGIN ASS STAY JUST THAT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
-STEVE