Sight
Thank you 22-Fillmore. Thank You for all the incredible sights everyday on my way to and from work. Thank You for 16th and Mission where I can watch crack being dealt like its legal, and hypodermic needles lay like gum smashed on the sidewalk.
Thank You to the big pay-toilet that lay on 16th and Mission that is a beacon to all druggies and hookers. I enjoy seeing all 6 of you leaving it in the morning. Is there a discount on a BJ if we use the toilet instead of my car?
Thank You 16th and Folsom where I get to see the crack being smoked. I enjoy a nice fresh hit in the morning. Its nice that the supply is so close. Sitting in that warehouse dock right in front of the bus stop makes it quite a sight. I especially enjoy seeing you folks piss right there on the sidewalk. Do you think we cant see your dick behind the germ-infested trashcan? Put that thing away or go use the toilet (see above).
Thank You 16th and S.Van Ness and Folsom for letting me see the girls just finishing their 'shifts' and all the used condoms laying in the gutter.
Thank You to all the urban-coolguys-in-athletic-gear who wear their pants down past their ass. That shit is too funny. You look like idiots and no one cares what cool Phat Farm or Sean John boxers you are sporting.
Thank You Haight Street for all the early morning tweakers looking for some more 'goods' and the 'salesman' that help out.
Sound
Thank you 22-Fillmore. Thank You for all of the amazing cell-phone conversations I hear everyday. Thank You to all of those who think that I would love to hear your inane conversations of "Where are you?" or "I'm on the 22". Thank You for sharing your complete weekend plans with everyone on Friday and the complete weekend play-by-play on Monday. I dont give a shit who you met and/or fucked. I dont give a shit how drunk you were, who hit on you at the bar, or what really cool new 'hipster' club you were at. I dont need to know what you were wearing and I certainly am not interested in your 'walk-of-shame' the next morning.
Thank You to all that give their number out while chatting with friends. I now have a great collection of crank-call numbers I can distribute across the internet.
Thank You Mr-Tough-as-hell-gangster-coolguy in the back of the bus with your 'ghetto-blaster' on 10. I really enjoy listening to a bunch of two-bit rappers talking shit about 'bitches' and 'ho's'. The walkman was invented 25 years ago. Get one.
Thank You young school kids who talk at the top of your lungs about anything and everything to their friend sitting 3 rows away.
Thank You to the cool 'scenester' who listens to his iPod full-blast with the newest and greatest techno-beat. 128 beats-per-minute just doesn't seem like enough at 8am.
And a very big Thank You to the crazy, deranged, crack-head that talks to himself the whole way. Sometimes its funny as hell.
Smell
Thank You Mr.Homeless guy for sitting next to me with your B.O. and all around stench. The 6-month unwashed clothes that smell like ass are my favorite.
Thank You Miss 70-year-old for that great smelling Walgreens brand perfume you bathed in this morning.
Thank You to all for the cigarettes and coffee breath.
Thank You drunken frat-boys for the beer/liquor breath.
Thank You to the the owner of the poor dog that had to come with you in the rain and has to lay on the floor of a wet bus for the amazing canine aroma. Good Thinking.
Touch
Thank You to everyone that cant seem to move their fucking bag/backpacks away from my face when I am sitting down and you are standing up not paying attention to where the fuck you back is flying around.
Thank You to all the lazy-asses that cant be bothered to get up and let you out of your seat when you are in the seat next to the window. I really have enjoyed putting my ass right by your face as I 'pass' by since you cant be bothered to stand-up for 10 fucking seconds. Ok Ok, I know the majority of you really CANT get up because you are all overweight and obese and I understand completely. Here's an idea: lay off of the fucking chicken nuggets.
And I definitely cant say Thank You enough to the 'door-people' who think that they just bought their own 'plot' of land right there by the door. MOVE THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE DOOR. People are trying to get on and off.
Taste
Thank You 22-Fillmore for all of the above. All of this combined on a daily basis for the last 3 years has left the nastiest taste in my mouth that no amount of oral hygiene could ever get rid of.
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