1. The headquarters on 9th is slanging lemonade and nachos.
2. The devil is trying to pawn off Craig's soul on barter/swap/free for a Playstation 2.
3. "Other ways to contact poster besides Sprint's new 5-cent-a-minute weekend plan"
4. Mission dwellers and Marina chicks have taken the initiative to learn how to read and write.
5. NASDAQ, CLIT...CLIT, NASDAQ
6. Modified categories: community dirty dozens, men seeking women seeking women, priests seeking altar boys, match.com missed connections.
7. The latest Craigslist parties: five minutes of awkward chitchat, then Cokefest 2002.
8. Willie Brown renames Jack Kerouac Way to Craigslist Boulevard, and then pisses all over his copy of "Big Sur".
9. Craigslist-Austin supports the sale of black market babies.
10. Even Smashmouth is like, "Damn, you guys are sellouts." Lenny Kravitz agrees.
11. Now, instead of his usual response "Your posting has been miscategorized", Bryan just goes, "Quit salting everybody's game, General Morton."
12. 90% of the Craigslist foundation money goes to Mick Fleetwood's beard maintenance.
13. Bumper stickers like "Marina chicks rule", "Activity partner on board", and "My other car is a http://www.craigslist.org/sfo/car/8300532.html" start making cameos on Bay Area automobiles.
14. The apprehensive guy who reads into things a little too much and the nice-smelling fashion model who was reading Tolkien and accidentally stepped on his shoe on the N Judah have already set a wedding date.
15. People start calling it "C-Rod".
16. It's more expensive to get a job posted than to get jobbed on Post.
17. Females start posting on casual encounters.
18. Sharp rise in people christening their newborn "Craig", regardless of gender.
19. You see this subject line in missed connections: You Were Gorgeous (Club Scirocco)
20. Dangles out to frequent users the chance to win some of Anna Kournikova's personal effects, like her broken hymen and other remnants from the year 1995.
21. www.craigslist.go.com
22. In the new Hulk movie, the source of David Banner's wrath is watching his clever men seeking women post get buried quicker than a bloody prom dress.
23. Everybody is in on what 420 really means. Snuff films, right?
24. Leonard Cohen stops spinning in his grave.
25. Craigslist: online community with classifieds for housing, jobs, community events, volunteer opportunities, for-sale items, and shallow e-mails followed by disappointment and alcohol-laced fornication.
26. Brand-new apartment/housing categories based on price: Maybe, With Your Drug Habit?, That's Great If You Don't Like Electricity, What's Wrong With San Mateo?, and Go Rob A Bank And Then We'll Talk.
27. Your twin bed hops on Craigslist when you're at work, trying to relocate to North Beach, and one of its stipulations is "no gays".
28. That gal who really gets off when she sees an out-of-focus picture of a guy's penis has a full in-box, literally and/or figuratively.
29. Peaches is reunited with Herb.
30. There's a Craigslist virus going around, and it has nothing to do with your computer.