RANT: paying good money to get crazy things done to your ass
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i cannot believe i'm going to delve into this topic here. the reason i am doing so is because i can't tell anyone i know what i did last night- all my friends think the idea is repulsive. so here we go, fat-haters, racists, youth-haters, trolls, chubbies, cube-workers, and any other rnr demographics i've missed:
yesterday, i got a colonic. and boy oh boy, was it awful.
i got hooked on the idea initially because it sounded like a great spring cleaning for the insides. i posted for input in the general community section, and was told that it makes you feel great. then when i found out it can take off a few pounds and make your tummy flatter, i decided i had to do it. i've been about 3 pounds over my goal weight of 107 (i'm 5'5'' by the way) and thought this could do the trick that diet and exercise have failed at lately.
so i make an appointment and go. they have me lay on my side on a table. then they make me help them stick this thing up my ass. the thing was too big. i could not deal. i yelled and screamed for something smaller, and the clinician begrudgingly went and found a littler one. ok. so we stick this new thing up my ass, and while it doesn't feel like i'm being raped viciously like the other did, it is still far, far from pleasant. *side note: i'm really not the anal type. i let my bf do me there on very, very rare occasion, and only because he thinks it's the cat's meow.*
then they have me lay on my back, with this big tube in my ass. i am like, oh my god, what the hell am i doing. this is insanity. then they start with the water. yes, water, up my ass. till it's full, and very uncomfortable. then she reverses the flow and "massages" my colon through my stomach very fiercely, with her fists.
this happens half a dozen times or so. my stomach cramps repeatedly, she pounds on it like a boxer, gross things flow through the weird clinical machine i'm hooked up to. when she says, "just one more time" for the third time, i put my foot down. this is it. we need to be done. she does a crazy herbal-tea-up-the-ass trick, and pronounces us finished.
i get back onto my side to have the terrible thing taken out of my ass. at this point i am in shock that i have survived having something so big up my ass for 45 minutes while simultnaeously getting my stomach beaten to a pulp. she instructs me to go and "empty my colon." damn, did that suck. you pee through your ass, basically. forever. i was in there for ages, pissing liquid out my ass. every time i thought i was done, there was more.
fast forward to this morning... last night i just sat around in pained shock, unable to tell anyone of my ordeal. now, i do not feel fresh or revived. i do not feel clean or spritely. my tummy was flat to begin with, so it's no different, and i am only 1 pound lighter. the right side of my stomach, where she beat the hell out of me, is so sore that i cannot touch it. i have to poop, but i am scared, scared of what might come out, that my body might now from this point forward be fucked up and think my ass is a place to pee out of.
i was vain. i was stupid. i paid someone $70 of my hard earned money to violate me up the ass for a long time and beat my stomach, and now i am ashamed and embarrassed. i just had to tell someone. thank you for your time.