As I waited in line to drop off my prescription in the South Building, 1st floor pharmacy at Kaiser in Pleasanton I realized that all four girls working the pharmacy, including the redhead that kept coming and going, were very attractive. Being newly single, not only am I realizing how many truly beautiful women are around but that these women may be available to ME. So knowing that soon I'll be face to face with a young beautiful pharmacy girl I started contemplating how I'm going to charm one of these lovelies into giving me her phone number so we can hook up for an arbitrary beverage. Therein lies my dilemma, how do you pick up on a pharmacy girl?
At first thought it doesn't sound so difficult. Just be a nice guy, flash a smile and get her to laugh. Slip in the stealth boyfriend remark to see if you can get her to reveal whether or not she has one without directly asking her. If all is well go for the number. After all, I am THE MAN! I'm am a confident, charming, unattached verile young man... in line for rash ointment. Damn. There's the problem.
Just minutes after I had gotten over the embarrassment of showing my nuts to a decent looking female doctor, I have been thrown the gauntlet. Four beautiful women, two definite one-on-one situations and a prescription to stop my nuts from itching. The good news is that the doctor who prescribed the ointment said that it's not an STD. At 30 years old I have just learned that allergic reactions in men often happen in the face and genitals, which in itself sounds like an amusing combination. Apparently I'm having an allergic reaction to the laundry detergent I'm using these days. I think it's all a well planned conspiracy by my ex-wife.
So itchy nuts aside, how does one pick up on a pharmacy girl? If I spend more time than the other customers, I'm holding up a room full a coughing, sniffling, sick people. I could just see it now, I've almost got her and then some smelly old lady that hasn't shit in 2 weeks yells at me to hurry up. Either that or beautiful pharmacy girl #4 looks at my prescription and thinks, ooh itching is SO sexy, I MUST have you. I might as well be a leper with herpes. It's not like I can keep showing up to the pharmacy because than it doesn't look like I'm very healthy. Then again, as fate would have it, when I got up to the counter I got the guy.
So to all of the women that work in the Kaiser Pleasanton pharmacy, I'd just like to let you know that the guy with the itchy nuts thinks all of you are beautiful. By the way, the ointment is working great and I've switched laundry detergents.