Originally Posted: 2009-07-21 13:48 (no longer live)

Large dirty fish tank, contents

This fish tank is an albatross around my neck, a grimy moldy guilt inducing vile infuriating albatross. Except instead of being a sign of a transgression of my own against nature, it represents the irresponsibility of my flaky self-absorbed douchebag previous roommates who left it at the apartment after moving out. I've fed the depressing inhabitants (seriously, is there anything that makes you want to fling yourself in front of a fast approaching train more than looking at fish in a tank?) for the past year, but am moving and will be damned if I take them with me.

So, please, take this burden from me.


Tank: Standard 5 gallon glass fish tank. Covered. in. filth. Comes with the whole filter apparatus (which probably needs a new filter pad or whatever those things are called). Also has a bubble machine that apparently serves to distract the fish from the meaninglessness and futility of their existence.

Contents: Various rocks, Buddha head, plants, and all that other kitschy crap my douchebag roommate put in the tank. She was an art student with a mullet, so I assure you it is hip to the point of nausea. Also worth mentioning (I know, no pets allowed in the free section, but seriously, fish don't count): Tumor Fish and Twitch. The former: white angel fish with a large tumor on the left side of belly. This thing is a scientific wonder and will probably outlive us all. We thought it would die 1.5 years ago, the lump on its side constituting at least 30% of its body mass and forcing it to swim with the top of its body at a approx 70 degree angle to the right. The mass disappeared around 7 months ago but then grew back in February. I do not recommend staring into T.F's cataract film covered black eyes for more than 30 seconds lest you lose all will to live. The latter: Twitch is some generic fish that will never be remotely as interesting as T.F. but moves in spastic fits of motion.

All of this can be yours (Joy of Joys) if you are able to come by and deal with moving the cursed thing by Sunday (the 26th) evening. Email me if interested and I can send you pictures, details.

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