Originally Posted: 2009-07-09 21:36 (no longer live)

Confessions of a Muslim Chick

I just want to go watch Bruno, but I can’t ask my chick friends because they’d rather be watching some fucking comedy with Meg Ryan in it or going to a spa. I mean a spa? Are you fucking kidding me? Isn’t that what you do when you have no life? And they all hated Borat, which I loved.

I really want to ask that great guy I made friends with, because I like having guy friends. This is because they are activity oriented and would jump at road-trips, hiking, kayaking etc which I LOVE, but my fucking chick friends either want to go out for dinner/brunch/coffee, or come over and sit on my couch to whine about their love lives. I DON’T CARE what he thought, said, might have wanted, blah blah blah.. Anyway, the point being, I can’t ask that great guy I made friends with because he wanted to date me and I had to tell him that I really just see myself with another Muslim long-term so that was the end of that (halal-eating to boot—guess who’s getting hitched soon?). And I can’t ask my married male friends because their insecure wives hate me. I also can’t ask some of the single marriage-minded Muslim men I know because they are too busy looking for wives, whom they refer to as “sisters.” I don’t know at what point in courtship the sister-brother shit stops. Can you imagine yelling “OH BROTHER, YESSSS” in the throes of passion? (Assuming these brothers are that good in bed, which is a whole other topic).

Also, if a guy is interested in you, the only time he stops being interested is when he finds someone else, but then you lose a friend because the bitch he is with inevitably hates you. (Yes, I am apparently that hot. And I don’t do the spa thing. Go figure. It could be because women in SF aren’t that hot, and I just look good in comparison. Who knows what the deal is? Maybe chicks are just insecure. I’ve noticed that the more unattractive the husband, the more insecure the chick).

But I digress. I really just want to go watch Bruno with someone--you can be a chick, dude, trans, whatever. I'm posting this in women seeking men because that probably has the most traffic. It seems like a funny movie, and laughing is better with someone else. And I don’t mean to rag on other women. I love girlfriends—they bring you food when you’re sick and are great to hang out with. It’s just times like these, when I want to do something outdoorsy and they’d rather go to a spa, or when I want to watch an offensive-ass movie, and they’d rather watch a romantic comedy. So yeah, anyone for Bruno? It’s just a movie. I’m really not looking to date anyone (see paragraph #2) unless you’re so fucking hot that I just can’t think straight. If we click, cool. If not, we never have to see each other again. Anytime this weekend works for me. If you're in your late-20s/early 30s, it would be great because I really don't want to be seen in public with someone significantly younger or older. And please don't be ass-ugly or psychotic. If I don't respond, just assume I gave up and went to a spa instead.

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