Originally Posted: 2003-04-15 11:35pm
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favorite this post Crazy (wander)lust: around the world in 80 days hide this posting unhide

/* I'm about ready to floppy-fu*k my computer. */

I've been chained to this beeping, buzzing monstrosity for over 2 years and this is my emancipation proclamation.

<-- come with me. quench your wanderlust. leave your cookie-cutter lives and sail with me on the high seas! -->

Eviling frickin' computer job robbed me of my perfect eyesight, made a cheesy pretzel out of my spine and calcified my wrists and fingers.

// But guess what you satanic little circuit board? IT'S OVER! HAHahahaAHAhHAHAHAHha!

I have amassed a miniscule life savings and I am ready to blow. The money. In just two month's time I envision myself joyously splurging my hard earned savings getting as far from the Internet as possible... scampering butt-naked across some white sand beach, mai-tai's in hand... or skipping through some enchanting mosquito-infested rainforest in search of Mayan ruins.

So: I QUIT! I QUIT! I QUIT! Alt-F4... Command-Q... Ctrl-X... kill-kill-kill (ok, nine weeks and counting - you gotta plan these rash decisions).

Providing I stop CL’ing and start studying I will pass the GREs this Friday. (hoorah for standardized testing! a true indicator of intelligence and mental capacity!) Applications for my grad school of choice are due May 1st. Undergraduate poverty wasn't enough to purify my body and soul. So I am ready to endure true suffering, starvation and under-appreciation in pursuit of the zen and a PhD (Poor homeless Dude). It's a (bitter)sweet deal because as it will return me to my favorite undergraduate research grounds in the South Pacific where I will, yes you guess it, work behind a computer screen. But I’ll be wearing nothing but a brightly colored sheet wrapped around my bum in true Polynesian style. Ahh biology ;)

# But that's ok! As it leaves me a phat 3 months to globetrot computer-free.

Why you should travel with me:

Women: I'm quite tall. So like a sore thumb, you will stand out as an American wherever you go. But you will have someone to carry your crap around. And have someone to beat off pesky horny men (god that came across wrong). And as I am in a serious relationship, that won't include beating myself off (wait, did I just say that?).

Men: I'm quite tall. So like a sore thumb, you will stand out as an American wherever you go. But you will have someone to carry your crap around. And have someone to beat YOU off attractive local women so your girlfriend doesn't beat your ass upon return.

I have entertained such itineraries/locations as:

Eastern Europe - the Slavic Social and Southward. Visit my best friend in the ever-so politically stable Serbia. Visit my family in the Czech Rebpulic, rock Prague's night club scene and drink lots of Becherovka. Eat-a-pita in Greece and soak up some Mediterranean rays. I'm going to Ibiza!

Iceland - I wanna get bjorked! God it is beautiful there. A little cold, but damn, look at some pictures! I would love to get Reykjavík tattooed on my ass. Did you know there is a town there named Hella?

Belize Please and Pirates of the Caribbean. Costa Rica? Need I say more?

Sailing with Captain Ron - an english friend of my Dad's is sailing around the world 4 months at a time... and in the past has offered to take me on as crew. Maybe we can both go. He’s somewhere in NZ right now.

Hell, I don't know. You suggest something. I don't even want to travel with someone else the entire time... but I figure this will get both our asses off the ground and out of the country.

I am three months short of mid-twenty. I'm tall like Ryan Stiles (but not as goofy lookin' and not as funny). I once was and will be a biologist. I hike, sail, swim, snorkel, backpack, cycle, paddle... Hablo un poquito de espanol, and was also considering taking a 4-6 week intensive Spanish class somewhere in latin/south america.

Wanna travel? Let's talk.

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