Originally Posted: 2003-02-19 12:22pm
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favorite this post i am 23 and i can't think of anything exciting to put up here. - ltr hide this posting unhide

instead of completely whoring myself out on here i think i am first going to write a list of all the things about me that most people would omit when placing a personal ad:

i am chubby borderlining on fat
i have bad posture
i have really bad fashion sense
i am disgustingly histrionic and have sociopathical tendencies
i hold grudges
i am not friendly
i am klutzy, for instance a couple of months ago i sat on my glasses and broke them in half and i'm not clever enough to tape them together (i tried, but it kept falling off so i said fuck it) so i stumble around 75% blind
i chainsmoke other people's cigarettes and when i don't have money to buy cigarettes and there's nobody around to leech them off of i am not opposed to just picking one up out of the ashtray
i will drink or do any sort of drugs if you're buying them
i eat too much
i listen to too much obscure indie rock and early 90s "alternative" and i am also fond of really bad late 80s r&b
i lived in three different states in 2002 and moved a total of eight times and will probably move again sometime in the near future
i spend about eleven hours of the day on the internet
i am agoraphobic and shy
i constantly talk in great detail about my bowel movements or lack thereof
i dislike the lower half of my teeth
i have dry skin
i dropped out of college six months away from graduating
i snore really fucking loud sometimes
i occasionally get checked into mental hospitals and i view this as a vacation and take the opportunity to have tons of fun

here's a list of obscure things that i do like about myself:

i think i am cute
i have a charming hilarious personality when i am drunk or stoned
i would do anything for my friends (i mean that)
i am amazingly intelligent and can talk your ear off about almost any topic you choose and some that you never would choose and don't care to hear about anyways
my insanity is endearing
i am only mean on the internet almost never in real life
i have rosy cheeks (i do not like them but everyone else does)
i have never once gotten lost in my life. my sense of direction is superb
i have never had a problem with acne
i listen to good music
i am obnoxious and immature and not afraid of making an ass out of myself in public if i'm with friends
i think i have nice hair
i can handle my booze, pot, drugs, whatever
i take chances
i am spontaneous
i will be friendly to almost anybody at first until they do something creepy or say something that sucks
i have good politics
my therapist thinks i have "amazing potential" to be a "dedicated human being"
i am often hilarious
i can cook authentic italian food and it is damn good
i can cuss in several different languages
i frequently lock myself in public bathrooms and dance in front of the mirror
i still think i am somewhat punk rock
i am so cool that there is an online community dedicated to my awesomeness

so like i said i am 23 and am all the above things. i am not looking for sex, at least i don't think i am looking for sex. you are welcome to contact me if you are looking for sex but you are taking the chance that i will laugh in your face, in a cyber sort of manner so to speak.

if you are old and gross and leacherous plz do not bother unless you are of course stupid and rich and want to spend tons of money on me without making me do anything sexual in return. spending money on me can include: taking me out for dinner and drinks, taking me shopping, straight up randomly giving me money, so on and so forth. i can also be wooed with offers of parliament blue cigarettes, packets of clean socks, taco bell, margaritas, random trips to wherever via greyhound, ketchup flavored potato chips from canada and vintage volvos. of course non-old / gross / leacherous people are welcome to spend money on me also.

if you think this ad was funny or something feel free to respond. i'm not sure exactly what the point was of me posting this but whatever. i was going to include a picture but i don't want stalkers without them first putting a little bit of effort into it so email me and i will send you one.

that is all !

post id: 8805802