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Originally Posted: 2006-12-28 00:27

Rant: All men aren't creeps...

I have been approached more times than I can count over the years by men trying to get to know me better. I think that is average for most women in their 20s.

I always try to be respectful whether I am attracted to them or not. Believe it or not, women get rejected too and I try to treat folks like I would like to be treated.

These are just some questions I would love to have answered. I am sure I will get some shit for writing this. I don't want to be negative; I love men and think for the most part that they are great. I have been approached by nice guys (attractive-to-me and not) in class, at work, at bars, at cafes, at the roller rink, etc and have appreciated the conversation and the stuff that sometimes follows.

That being said, please tell me why men think that it is ok to do the following:

-Skulk around the bar for hours and stare at me while I am drinking with my friends and only approach me at the VERY end of the night (even though I said hello and smiled a few times) when I am outside of the bar and parting ways with my friends. Either you think I am drunk enough to make you look good or you are waiting until I am alone for some creepy reason...ugh.

-Try to kiss a woman's hand the first time you meet her. It is not the Victorian era and it is not the Renaissance Fair. From my understanding it was customary for ladies to wear gloves and for gentlemen to "air kiss", anyway. I don't know you and you don't know where my hand has been. I certainly don't want your lips on me the first minute that we meet. I had to repeatedly tell a 50-something year old guy with scraggly hair and a beret to please not kiss my hand and that a hand shake was enough. I said this politely but he persisted x3. When I said "PLEASE DON'T" in a firm tone to him he called me a "bitch". That was 4 years ago and I still see the guy in my neighborhood and he STILL glares at me. Grow up and get over it grandpa.

-Try to dry hump women while they are talking to their friends...I know you are drunk and I am so sorry that your girlfriend broke up with you, but wtf?

-invite my friend and I home with you...believe me darling, if we want a threesome with you, WE will come to YOU. We are pretty sure of getting a taker if we are offering that set up. You are just asking for rejection there and will be given no sympathy.

-Not take a hint that my friend and I are not up to flirting when she is crying her eyes out after being dumped...especially when we say point-blank "sorry, now is not a good time. Maybe we can hang out next week".

-Loudly ask me and my friend (in front of my mom) to smoke weed with you in the back alley when it is pouring rain. You could at least introduce yourself first...sheesh.

-cockblocking sucks. Don't do it. If I am speaking intently with a hottie please don't try to sit between us and take over the conversation.

-yes I am a busty lady. I am not interested in hearing about how you used to like skinnier gals but you have come to the realization recently that curvy women are sexy, too. Yawn. Or is that your way of letting me know that I am on your hotlist and you find me dateable even though your jockohomo friends might make fun of you. Oh boy! Lucky me!

-being rude to my male friends when I bring them in the bar/cafe that where I and you both happen to be regulars. That will not impress me. It was really funny watching this regular get all huffy and competitive with my GAY co-worker who I brought to the cafe. I know we usually exchange pleasantries when we see each other, but I have no commitment to you. If you want to show you care, be nice to my friends

-why would a man tell a me that he had painted a portrait of me face and superimposed it on a picture he had previously painted on his ex-girlfriend? I don't want to know that I have a "divine" face that is the muse to your artistic genius. For one thing, I don't event know your last name. Secondly, I am not impressed by the "art in pain" persona. Finally, that conversation was so creepy that I avoided that location for several months.

-I'm with the Clinton biography reader who posted. If I am reading a book or doing my coursework, I don't mind a "hello" but being unable to take a hint is just fucking pathetic and unattractive in the extreme. A man who doesn’t catch normal social cues or even worse pushes my boundaries on the first meeting is not going to get too far with me.

-If you are an older gentleman, expect to be rejected if you approach a younger woman. I have enjoyed dating older men myself, but most women don't. Sorry but that's the way the cookie crumbles pops.

Thanks for letting me rant!

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