Originally Posted: 2009-02-26 2:41pm
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favorite this post RnR: An Introductory User's Guide hide this posting unhide

Welcome, friend, to Craigslist Rants and Raves!

This stretch of the “information superhighway” may seem a little overwhelming at first. However, with these easy-to-follow instructions, you'll soon be able to waste enjoy many hours here, without any effort at all!

Ready to start? Okay, let's buckle-up, turn your blinker on and merge into traffic.

1) Your First Post

Let's start by creating and sending a simple post.

Subj: Hi Everyone!

Sure is a swell day today! I'm new, and I sure look forward to making some super-duper friends! Well, gotta go for now. Bye!

You may be asking if the slang term “gotta” is correct here. Actually, the use of slang and vernacular terms is not only accepted, but often encouraged. You should consider adding some slang terms to your posts now and again to show that you're not “square”.

After a few minutes, you'll notice some posts entitled “re: Hi Everyone!” These are from other people responding to your post. Pretty cool, eh? Remember how we said that slang is encouraged? Well, the terms “Fucking Douchebag” and “Cum-guzzling Dipshit” are just hip urban slang for “partner” and “buddy”, and these people are welcoming you, in their hip urban way, to the board. It's like a whole new language to explore!

2) Who Are These People?

To really appreciate RnR, you need to understand who is on the other end of the computer connection. So, who are these people? Well, they're people just like you, only less intelligent, less informed, and less civilized. Pretty much the scum of the earth. Since there are no requirements to use the site, anyone with a computer and Internet access can post.
This includes
- child-murderers posting from the prison library
- crack addicts
- life-long alcoholics
- serial sex offenders
- pimps
- the criminally insane
- 4th-grade dropouts

and the list goes on. Everyone on the south side of a 100 IQ or who has ever been convicted of a felony can (and does) post here.

Fun Fact - Many people are not aware that RnR was added to Craigslist only after the founders were convinced by law enforcement officials that it would be an inexpensive way to keep sociopaths in front of their computer screens and off the streets. That's using your noggin', Craig!

3) Who is “The Red Fox”?

Some people don't have personalities in the real world, so they try to create them here. These people are mostly harmless and in fact provide a useful service by conveniently labeling their posts with their self-applied nicknames; sort of like a “Do Not Open” sign. You can help them with their delusion of self-importance by calling them by their “handle”:

Subj: Hi Red Fox!

You Fucking Douchebag!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

4) Who's Up for a Lively Debate?

The respectful, free-flow exchange of ideas and information is an important part of a civilized community everywhere. But not here. If you feel that you want to go toe-to-toe with someone online, here are some important tips:

- Facts don't matter. Feel free to make up “facts”, just like your opponent is doing.
- Use lots of profanity.
- Use lots of punctuation.
- Use lots of profanity and punctuation.
- If in doubt, CAPS LOCK!

Finally, remember that every “debate” on RnR is between a goat-fucking, sociopathic, syphlitic degenerate who has nothing better to do than yank your chain because he ran out of farm animals to mutilate and a shit-for-brains moron who can't figure that out. So, when you're in a “debate”, stop, and look up. Do you see a goat?

5) Does Anyone have an Opinion on . . . ?

You may find that some of your fellow RnR's have opinions. Through patient encouragement, they may open up enough to share their opinion with you gently and sincerely. Or not. Note: you should have a good knowledge of urban slang.

6) Conclusion

Well, friend, you're now well on your way to enjoying a rewarding career in small-machine repair. Before you know it, you'll be earning $ Big Money $ selling quality home-cleaning products door-to-door.

Just keep in mind that everyone here is a stupid, pig-ignorant fool, except for me and you.

But I'm beginning to wonder about you.

  • Location: Open Other End
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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