I am a 31 year old Vagina in fairly good working order seeking a nice Penis for fun and good times. Preferably not on the beach though, I do find that the sand chafes. I can't do any really fancy tricks but I can breathe underwater.
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I don't know if you're interested in threesomes but I always come with my best friend, Clitoris. She's a bit shy and doesn't always ask for attention but boy, is she a happy bunny when she gets it and I must say that I feel much better too.
Oh and by the way, and this is probably the deal killer, I also come with a woman attached. Sorry, can't get rid of her, she's quite nice I guess, wish she'd lose some weight or not sit down so much, it's quite squashy down here. So if you're looking for skinny, I'm afraid you had better look elsewhere. She's a bit daft and get this, she wants to 'settle down and get married' Silly cow, spoiling all my fun. I don't think she's ever used me as a weapon but if she did marry your attachment you can bet she would start sooner or later, and won't think of me at all then will she, hmmm?
She doesn't have many 'issues' that I know about, unless she keeps them hidden in her 'baggage' under the 'bed'. She'd probably be mortified that I'm placing this post, she's really quite shy, which is one reason I felt the need to take things into my own hands ... so to speak. It's not all for me! (And it's no good you hiding there, Clit. You encouraged me, you have to take some of the blame too)
She does have these other two friends who hang around all the time. They are twins (not identical mind you, though they claim to be. Ha! If you look close enough you can see that one is bigger than the other) Me and Clit call them The Boobs. They don't do much but they don't get in our way so don't let them put you off.
If you are out there, Penis of my dreams, could you persuade your attachment to be really really nice to mine and then we can get down to the important stuff, and if you come attached to 2 hands and a tongue, so much the better. (That's a request from Clit) Just keep The Teeth out of it though, bit rough for my liking.
Must close now, it's quite exhausting trying to type accurately ... and I seem to have lost the mouse ... Oops (note from Clit to self: write to Sony ask if possible make vibrating keyboard)
Vag (& Clit)
PS PLEASE don't send penis portrait pics ... you'll only scare her upstairs and we won't reciprocate and really, we can't see now, can we.