OK, let me precursor this post with clarification and some self defecation. I am in no way the sexiest dude on campus. Not even close. There are so many studs in Oaktown its overwhelming. Every once in awhile I'll see a guy so dripping in testosterone and pure man that I consider switching teams just to cock (pussy?) block girls. Those dudes make the game tough for guys like me. They create unhealthy standards for girls which leads to sudden rejection in game-kicking situations.
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With that said, I'm not the most unpleasing thing to look at in town. Sometimes I surprise myself when I catch a glimpse in the mirror. Who IS that handsome devil? I'm on the short side, probably a little too much hair, sometimes I dress funny (look, I really like comic books. yes, still). I got my flaws, who doesn't? In additon I have what some might describe a bad personalioty. I get mean, not angry, I just really love to cut up on people. But this isn't at ALL about personality...
GIRLS WHO ATTEND THE UNIVERSITY OF PITTSBURGH AND ESPECIALLY THOSE IN MY CLASSES
STOP STARING AT ME!
No really, its makes me edgy and distracts the hell out of my small male brain. LOOK, its not like I'm not flattered, we met eyes, cool, I'm fine with that. Just stop repeatedly looking in my direction! The thing is there wouldn't even be a problem if something ever happened from this, but after at least 5 years deep in the eye contact game I find it all to be pointless. Look down, look up, shut your eyes, pay attention to the teacher, stare at girls, just not me!
And stop the games!! I mean this girl today looked in my direction 9 times (I counted) sitting next to me. Why was that? Cause she caught me checking her out when she sat down, so what, its what guys do, big whoop, wanna fight about it? The point is she just looked, and got weird about it after awhile.
Or how about the girl you catch staring and she looks away really quick on some, oh i was scratching my ear crap. Or the one who gets caught and gives YOU the evil eye. YOU'RE THE PERVERT, HAG (nice rack)!!!
Or the times you catch a girls eye and shes absolutely gorgeous, waaay out of your league, and you get excited, then she KEEPS doing it, and in a cute little way where she's acting like she's real shy. Then you remember, ohwait, I'm me. And you're convinced its a trick, then you're like maybe I'm just exactly what she likes, shes into darker guys or something. Or maybe she notices the new Jordans. Then you wait until the end of class, where she dips out of the classroom before anyone and is out of the building before you can get a good look at her booty.
This isn't exclusive to classrooms either. Common areas, eateries, bars, parties, YOUR FRIEND'S HOUSE (yes you, K) and EVERYWHERE are applicable.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY...I do not want responses to this saying, "well you should just approach the girls, pussy". NO. NO. Screw putting myself out there. I'm a little shy but I'm no turtle, I just hate getting shot down even if its with the famous ooh-sorry-I-have-a-boyfriend excuse. Its time for girls to STEP THEIR GAME UP. I rarely receive compliments, flirting seems to have fallen out of style. If a girl ever asked me to do something or hang out I might spray her down with a hose because I'd be convinced she was a android from the future, or the devil.
So ladies, next time you see something across the room you can't keep your eyes off of, GO OVER AND PICK IT UP.
- Location: Oakland
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests