Even though I'm basically a paranoid shut-in, I have this creeping dread that maybe somebody glimpsed me somewhere, fell in love with me and now, because my DSL went down, I've missed my chance at happiness. So if anyone saw a 35 Yr old man who hasn't shaved, bathed or brushed his teeth in the last three days, wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants and a ripped Bon Jovi 'Can't Stop the Rock '87 Tour' t-shirt, who maybe was throwing out his garbage or maybe standing by his bedroom window, flossing (cause the bigger mirror with the adjustable light is in there and I like to make sure I get the back molars right) or maybe you saw me through my living room window and were amused by my masturbatory abilities and my erotic, yet women positive selection of porn, or maybe, as I've often suspected, the court room audience of The Peoples Court can actually see me through the TV and maybe you were in the courtroom that day that girl sued her own mother for her back childsupport and Judge Milian asked 'How did it come to all this?" and the girl started to cry. Maybe you were the sweet, sexy Hispanic woman just to the left of the defendant, with the pony-tail, and you were in frame the entire time the mother was testifying and I thought I felt something. Like you were looking right at me, giggling and sharing something with me. If that was you, write me. Please.