I'm an ordained minister (Church of the Apostles of the Midwest) who is looking for a loving, spiritual woman who would like to get her freak on with a man of the cloth. I may be a minister, a man of God, but that doesn't stop me from having a good time with any lady in need of spiritual and physical service.
I'm tall, dark and quite handsome, a regular Judas when it comes it seduction. We'll have dinner and I'll bless you and the wine and the bread and I'll compliment you on the lovely floral-print skirt you're wearing. My empassioned burning gaze will sear your soul and inflame you into wanton desire. My white collar will appear to glow with a magnetic otherworldly light and you will soon be overcome with fervor as I shepherd you to my stationwagon where we shall begin our pilgrimage to my lair of oneness. "Baby," I'll say "take off your sun hat, untie that bow, and let me massage your neck and run my fingers underneath the shoulderpads of your lovely yellow frock." You will allow me to usher you into my spacious living room where my manly baritone will rumble "Rock of Ages" as I slip your dainty wooden sandals off of your sore feet. "ooh." You'll murmer. "Oh God." I love to hear the sound of His name in your mouth.
You'll give it up to me, my child. With the strength of the Almighty I will lift your voluptuous body to my boudoirs where I will lay you down underneath a poster of my favorite Apostle. It's there that I will send you on an all-inclusive packaged tour of the everlasting. If you're lucky and if I don’t have to get up early to minister to my flock, we'll make the trip several times. Don't worry, sweet thing, I'm not a stickler for stuffy biblical propriety. As a true visionary of the Lord I believe there are at least 32 ways to enter the gates of heaven and not just the one that involves the missionary.
So do you want some of that sweet, that funk, that holy stuff with one of the few remaining guys in the world who can send you directly to heaven or hell? Does the idea of doing the nasty with a man with a "flavah for his flock" excite you? Write me and I'll pray that you're delivered unto me.