i used to be afraid of the penis. maybe its cause i dont have one. maybe its cause i hadnt had many experiences with them up close, aside from changing my little brothers' diapers when he was a baby, and enduring him mooning me as he got older and more asshole-y.
or maybe its cause i have nothing to compare a penis to on my own person...
i mean, a have a deep, cavernous hole down there, and i have never seen the inside of it. it is not an all access kind of party down there, cause its not all out in the open.
peni on the otherhand (that is the plural word for penis, isnt it?) are appendages that just hang out and apart from the body, just like arms and legs and hands, except it is not appropriate to walk up to a man and shake his penis, or comment on the penis's strong grip, striking shape, or athletic tendencies. at least not upon first meeting.
so anyways, i have always been afraid of the whole business of the penis. i tried to spend as little time with them as possible, and it ruined many a potential relationship...
until one day, my sweet roommate (who claims she can give the best blowjob this side of the mississippi) decided, upon hearing my complaints about the ominous body part, to give me a lesson in blow-jobbing.
unfortunately we had no typical blowjob worthy vegetation in our home for to teach an adequate lesson (no pickles, cucumbers, or even bananas), so she opened our cutlery drawer, whipped out a large silver spoon and proceeded to show me how to incorporate tongue and hand movements into her technique.
it took me a while to get the whole twisting motion of the hand down properly, and watching this girl molest the spoon that i had just recently eaten grits off of was a bit unsettling, but i took all her words of wisdom to heart, and made a mental checklist of everything she taught me.
spit onto the penis for adequate lubrication
keep teeth scraping to a bare minimum
its okay to play with the balls
keep the hand motion consistent and firm
dont be afraid to swallow
i took these words. i studied them. i wanted to put them to good use.
i found my chance.
my roommate's head took the place of the other head that i was face to face with, and it talked to me, and reminded me of all the things i had to do to put her technique to good use....
i did it, and i was successful. in fact, i have done it several times now and have proven successful each time since. i am learning new things about this mysterious entity, the penis, and for the first time ever i swallowed! wow....what an experience. it wasnt terrible....not something i would put on chicken or anything, but i could handle it.
at last, i am afraid of the penis no more!
my roomie feels very accomplished now, having passed her training onto me, and i am feeling pretty accomplished myself. the reciever of the bjs seems to be feeling spectacular, too, which is a relief...at least someone is being satisfied...