Proposal:
That we set up some rules of style. Following these rules I think we should all be able to get hooked up with the appropriate members of the sexual orientation of our choice.
I Propose:
1: If you are from the Sth side, wear your trucker cap with the brim angled to the left. (that being the direction you take when stepping off the L)
If you are from the Nth side, then obviously the brim gos to the right.
If you live on Nth 7th, well good for you and the brim points straight.
2: How about we dress era appropriate.
If you are born in the 80s. Then it is 80s wear, 70s wear for those born in the 70s. (to the stupid looking Stevie Nicks guy *That comment alone will get this flagged I am sure*, good going on the era, but you have the gender confused.
3.1: On the subject of gender, you bike dykes with your baggy jeans and wife-beaters. You are really messing it up for the hetero-male populace. Could you please start to wear a sign on your trucker cap, a pink ribbon maybe, just so we guys know you are girls. I was starting to wonder at my own sexual orientation when walking behind one of you on Bedford Ave (the swing of the hips said 'girl' but the dirty jeans said 'grody boy'. Whew, lucky you turned around and I saw that you were a girl (Though the moustache still had me a little confused)
3.2: To all the hipster scrawny boys: Blue nylon belts if you like the girls. Pink if you like the boys. Easily solved. Done and done.
4.0: If you went to Sarah Lawrence/Vassar/Oberlin/Smith, please diregard all rules as I am sure your gender/orientation is subject to change at a moments notice.
To briefly recap.
If you are a hipster gay boy living on the Sth Side:
Pink belt. Left turned cap.
If you are hipster gay girl living on the Nth side:
Pink ribbon on trucker cap. Brim to the right.
Following these rules I am sure we can all get just what we want from our drunken sexual encounters.
Please feel free to email me additional rules you think might work.