Male, ostentatious, inconsiderate, about six feet tall with a mess of curly hair that is never washed.
Likes to snap fingers, whistle, clap hands and stomp around making other obnoxious noises for no discernable reason. Also enjoys living in own filth, loud music at inopportune times and begging money for large bottles of beer under the pretense that the funds will be used to pay bills. Seems to think I am a source of income (possibly I am being entertained and should pay him?) and does not feel the need to look for or obtain work.
Also, is extremely naive about everything, unless he decides to become an instant expert on the topic at hand, which happens often. This problem is apparently exacerbated in direct relation to the amount of Old English ingested at that time.
Comes with a large assortment of dirty magazines, soiled laundry and old, ripped up boxer shorts which he enjoys wearing around the apartment regardless of the company he is in, giving unasked-for peeks at his twig and berries.
Insists items in common rooms belong to him and are to be used whenever and however he deems fit. Specifically takes pleasure in asking for television remote fifty times in thirty seconds while I am on a business call. Discussion of this issue only leads to tantrums on the part of the roommate, and undesirable living conditions.
Enjoys fishing, arguing points he doesn't understand and whining about everything as though his circumstances are this way through no fault of his own. Also seems to make a hobby of eating things that do not belong to him.
Free to good home. Will turn 29 within a few months, and I do not think he should live much longer. This is mostly due to the fact I am about to kill him.