Wanted: Catfish Thrower for 5/16 or 5/18 Preds Home Game
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Background: I unwisely bet against my wise colleagues that if the Preds made it to the 3rd round, I would throw a catfish on the ice. However, when the time came to become an immortal, I backed down and realized I was deathly allergic to catfish - unwilling to make good on the bet and grab the brass ring of celebrity. I was offered a choice: catfish trampstamp, or hire a catfish thrower. I chose the latter.
Qualifications: Sufficient strength to chuck a 2lb catfish over the glass. Stones large enough to stand there and fire up the crowd after the guts have splattered over the ice. Bravery necessary to smuggle a slimy dead catfish saran-wrapped to your belly through security. Willingness to be a God and go down in Preds history.
Pay: Minimally $75, but let's discuss; I'm open to trades. You must already have a ticket. I provide the catfish and saran wrap.
Applications: Applications must be received by mid-night Monday the 15th. Contact via text only. Bonus points awarded for video applications.