It's been interesting keeping an eye on the new CL boards that have been springing up across the (virtual) world - I think I can see a pattern emerging.
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Typical post - I'm from Ohio but I love everything about Scotland / the accent / the kilts you guys wear. My afro-mex-american great grandmother was once buggered by a man holding a tin of McEwan's Export - does this make me Scotch? I'm a short order cook at a diner, does this qualify me to move there?
Typical reply - Hawaay ha hinnie braw gang muckle yjr heid an shuve ha dritflecs hup yjr rangpeece
Typical post - I'm from the 909 but I love everything about Ireland / the accent / the Guinness you guys wear. I hate the Brits too. My polish-italian-american great grandfather once had a fist fight with an Irish woman in a bar in Boise - does this automatically give me Irish citizenship? I'd love to live there amongst the dirt, the squalor, the poverty and the ignorance and join the nationalist fight against the republicans in Tipperary.
Typical reply - Feck off, bastard. I'm just off in my Beemer to the mall to do some serious damage to my black amex at Armani, Ralph Lauren and the little Versace place. Wise up loser - we're Europeans, and poor plastic paddies can stay in Noo York.
Typical post - Hey, groovy dudes, how's the grass going? I love everything about the Dutch / the cute way you all speak American / the bicycles you guys eat. My dorm-buddy's second cousin once did a trip to Europe and spent nearly 2 days in the Netherlands - so I guess I'm almost a native already. If I flunk my course, can I come move there and spend all day stoned in some totally awesome Van Gow attic? You owe us because we liberated you.
Typical reply - Get lost, kiddy. The Canadians liberated us actually. We're fed up with immature frat boys puking their guts up in our canals after blowing the smallest of spliffies. Take your American shit and keep it out of Europe.
Typical post - You fromage munching sanges! I can bench press 560 though I'm only 4'10" in height which makes me about the fittest man in the world! I'm joing the Marine Corps so I can whip your french pussy asses in the war to keep rational thought out of the US of A! You pussy euroliberals even believe in Evolution haha! You owe us because we liberated you!
Typical reply - None. The French completely ignore CL.
Typical post - I think Brazilian women are HOT and I speak a few words of Spanish so how do I place an online order for a cute Brazilian girl? I'm 45 and bald with a gut the size of a tractor tire and I pump gas on the interstate but what the hell I'm American and you third-world bimbos will love it, yeah? I haven't much experience but I see a little action in the Men's Room from time to time, so you can teach me how to reach the heights of sexual delirium..oh God....awwhhh...
Typical reply - Nós falamos o português. I para possuir um rancho de 10.000 acres e para levantar o gado para o Wendy Burger. Meu amante é um
jogador do polo da classe do mundo. Comece gringo perdido, stupid.
It's almost painful, isn't it?
this is in or around Britain