Originally Posted: 2008-12-30 16:08 (no longer live)

Break In...Break Out...

I gotta hand it to you. When it comes to the art of the smash and grab, you're the best. I was in my apartment, probably awake, with the car parked right under my kitchen window flooded by parking lot lights. Judging by the fact that I found bits of glass from the driver's side window in every corner of the car, from the dashboard to the back seat, I gotta say, when you break a window, you don't go for subtle, you go all the way. You sir, work with gusto. Did you get a running start and swing a medieval battle axe at my window? Because that's what it looks like. I'm still picking glass out of weird nooks and crannies. I bet nobody messes with you when you carry that battle axe.

You managed to get my stereo (which even I had a hard time getting in and out), an amplifier mounted (securely!) to the back of the back seat, and a big, heavy box containing a 1200 watt 12" subwoofer. The impressive thing was that you did all this without damaging a single part of the inside of the car! I didn't even know that piece of the dash around my stereo popped out like that. Shit, it would have made it a hell of a lot easier to install the RCA cables when I put the amp in. By the way, though it's not a super high end amp, I'd recommend getting the 4 gauge power cable anyway as the protection circuit can get a little finicky. I mean, you went to the trouble to take $600 bucks worth of stuff, so it ought to work right.

Big ups for not jacking the post-election Obama print by Shepard Fairey that was in the tube in the back seat. Though really, thinking about it, it would have been kind of awesome if you had gotten home and saw that the poster said "Yes We Did" across the top. You could hang it up and pose for pics in front of it and your new stereo system. "Yes you did" break into my car. "Yes you did" get away with it. "Yes you did" (apparently) ignore the sea of Mercedes, Lexus, Range Rovers, etc that inhabit my parking lot, opting instead to hit up the lowly Grand Am. (It's the GT model but still.) I have to deduct points for that one.

You rifled through all my compartments looking for what I can only guess was money and firearms but I don't tend to leave that kind of stuff in the car. Sorry. Just some pennies in the tray. Scattering all that paperwork all over the seat reminded me that I had an awful lot of trash in there! Hope that didn't hinder your search for my things. I've since put all that stuff in my filing cabinet. I'm actually kind of embarrassed that you saw all my clutter. I try to keep the car a bit cleaner than that. Then again, you DID cover the interior with about 3 inches of broken tempered glass so I guess you aren't exactly a neat freak either. I won't tell if you won't.

Next time I'll try to have a new wireless security cam trained on my parking space from my place so I can witness your skills for myself. I'll put it up on YouTube so you can check it too. Hey, you can think of it as a training tape. You'll probably look pretty creepy and bad ass on an infra-red camera too. Those things make your eyes look all glowy and shit, like that annoying chick dripping snot everywhere on The Blair Witch Project. Did you see that movie? Yeah, it kinda sucked.

Anyway, just wanted to write this. As I drive to work in silence, with the brisk winter air whipping in my face, I have plenty of time to reflect, and think of you. Hope you're thinking of me too.

  • Location: Lane County
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

post id: 974925622