Originally Posted: 2006-09-26 15:12

Some friendly w4m advice (dating pool)

I was enjoying my coffee and reading the day's w4m posts and it occurred to me that some of you ladies need some insight into the male mind. With that thought in mind, I offer the following thoughts (sure to p*ss off some) but perhaps helpful to others.

1. Pic Tricks: You say that you are looking for someone at least as intelligent as you and you attach a pic of a sunset or some other girl thing. You have just wasted some perfectly good bandwidth. W4M ads with pics are like the package at Christmas that says open me first. When intelligent men click on the ad and see a flower, they know that you are either manipulative or a complete moron. Neither is attractive to an intelligent man. (There is a very, very rare exception to the moron part of this rule. Most of you do not need to concern yourself with this exception but if you look like and have the brains of Jessica Simpson, fire up AOL and send me an email and I will try to explain in monosyllabic words.) There is no exception to the manipulative portion.

2. Weight: Women are dealt almost all the cards in the dating game. However, they always have to contend with the joker - weight. Not every man is looking for a Paris Hilton; in fact most men think she looks like a boy. However, most men prefer women that aren't corn fed. That doesn't mean that BBWs can't find a guy, there is someone for everyone. Just be honest. How hard is just saying height and weight? Cut the athletic build, curves in the right places crap. Most women like tall guys, most men like slender women - deal with it. Special note to those of you that want to cite average weight figures: America has an obesity problem.

3. Maturity: "Looking for someone mature, age 22 to 26". If you don't see the humor in that statement, please simply say: "Looking for someone that can beat me at Playstation games."

4. Maturity Part II: If you are looking for someone that is mature, it probably is not a good idea to post that you enjoy drinking beers, playing pool and watching the Bears, Cubs, Sox etc. Mature men are looking for a woman not a buddy. Please note the use of the word "probably". In any other city this would be a hard rule but Chicago is a different kind of town.

5. Age: There are some women looking for a father figure and there are some Mrs. Robinsons. No problem. I hope they find who they are looking for. However, generally women are looking for a guy that is a few years older than them and men vice versa. There are many logical reasons for this preferred age range. Unfortunately, this does not change when you get older. When you were 21, you were looking for someone 22 to 27. Now that you are 35, as painful as it may be to admit your age range might include some men in their 40s, you will have much better luck than if you try to magically roll back father time by looking for a 27 to 34 year old.

6. Education: Ok, I understand using education as a rough barometer of intelligence and success but don't forget you are excluding the Bill Gates of the world. Know anyone that has multiple degrees and is a moron? I do.

7. Clichés: At some point in time, a prehistoric women picked up a piece of flint and scrawled "Looking for a partner in crime" or "soul mate" or "boyfriend applications accepted". She was original. In the vernacular of the internet: you be too.

8. Clichés Part II: You like good food and love to laugh. What a refreshing change of pace! Men get so tired of women that like moldy bread and want someone to make them sad. Like to travel? Great, I have to leave for LA in the morning and then take the red eye back to Chicago will you go for me? The ultimate in clichés: "Are you man enough to handle me"? No!

9. Clichés Part III: “You won’t be disappointed”. Great, my search for a universal truth is over.

10. The laundry list: Five paragraphs of what you want and not a word about yourself. Please get your cat from a shelter.

11. Emails without pics will be deleted: In a perfect world this would be a reasonable statement. However, the world is not perfect and that intelligent, professional guy that you are looking for just may not want his pic on the internet. There are some of us that aren't attached or have anything to hide but we really don't want to send a pic to a co-worker or assistant. Or find our pic on the M4M site. You want to be friends first, right? So if there isn't any chemistry (a misnomer) what have you lost? I personally think women should feel the same way about their pics.

12. Single moms: There are a lot of stepfathers in the world - good stepfathers. Having a child doesn't freak every guy out. However, the good guys understand that your child is important; you don't need to say he/she comes first. It is not a contest. Also, don't post a pic with your kid. It is just plain creepy. You are supposed to be protecting that kid and posting him/her on the internet is just plain WRONG. A guy shouldn't even meet your kid until he has been thoroughly vetted.

Special Bonus: This does not apply to most of you but for the "Looking for a sugar daddy" or "someone to take two sexy girls to dinner" crowd, you need to understand supply and demand. There is a very limited supply of what you are looking for. Gucci doesn't care what their customers look like, neither should you.

I know, I need to go f**k myself.

post id: 212597559