Why The Ladies' Room Is Always Worse Than The Men's :
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This has been a long time coming... it has pissed me off for AGES. Here goes.
Ladies, Listen Up!
Next time you use a public bathroom, do us all a favor... stop being a pussy and sit on the fuckin seat. Really.
What the hell are you so scared of that you can't just sit on the seat? Science has proven that you can't catch anything from sitting on a toilet seat. Unless you can visibly SEE crabs crawling around on it, just sit the fuck down.
Let's just say that this is your fear... catching something OTHER than crabs. Then answer me this: What part of your anatomy actually touches the seat?! Your thighs and part of your cheeks. That's all. Do you know of any woman who makes a hobby out of rubbing their junk all over the seat? Didn't think so.
So please stop hovering 3 feet above the toilet and spraying like a water hose refracted by a thumb. Because ladies, let's face it... we are not built like men. We do not have a nice, straight stream. Our pee flies in every direction, which is the reason why the toilet is a BOWL. Please utilize it.
I am tired of entering the restroom and opening every stall only to find that each toilet seat is covered in piss. I am also tired of having to grab a huge hunk of paper towels so I, a non-wuss who has no fear of sharing thigh space with a stranger, can pee without having to squat and wobble like a gyroscope losing its momentum while spraying pee all over the room.
Which brings up another point... If you're hovering and spraying it all over the room, how do you NOT get some on yourself? You must be kidding. Do you mean to tell me that pissing all over yourself is a better option than sharing thigh and cheek space with a stranger? There's no way you can weigh those 2 options and come out with the former. Unless you're clinically insane.
So if my argument up to this point has not convinced you, and you still insist on spraying your urine all over, fine. Do what you want. But at least have the decency to CLEAN IT UP. I am sick of doing it for you. It's just a matter of common decency.
And speaking of common decency... you know how you always bitch about guys leaving the seat up? Even though all it takes one simple hand motion to lower it again, you still must nag and bitch about this constantly, right? Well, I say if you're not even USING the seat, just put it up like men do. Seriously. This way you do not leave your piss for the poor, unafraid woman like me behind you in the bathroom. And get this: Aren't the odds of the piss actually getting INSIDE the bowl much greater when the seat is not blocking the target?!? Hello... simple laws of physics here.
In short, I want to piss without having to clean up mess, and I want you to be able to do the same. If we can all just share thigh space without all this nonsense, maybe the lines wouldn't be so long. I think that's the reason why women take so much longer. You scaredy-cats are squatting and spraying and taking ten minutes to clean yourselves off, and we non-pussies are cleaning the piss-covered seats.
So please, nasty ass bitches, STOP SQUAT'IN & SIT THE FUCK DOWN!!!
- Location: =0) W.F.
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