Originally Posted: 2008-01-29 15:16

Getting paid to use Craigslist? Hell yes.

So I've been chatting with the IT guy here, standard IT cat: long hair in a pony tail, survives on junk food, into shit like dressing up like a knight (or dragon) with like minded pals on the weekend, RedHat Linux gets his cock hard (his enthusiasm for this is similar to mine when discussing the finer points of a Jake Malone flick) and he posseses a severe collection of porn (some of it hentai...which makes no sense---to me at least....).

An interesting and brilliant dude, he wields more power over the workings of the office than any of the other wage slaves and our pig-oppressor masters.

I dig this guy, and find the way he handles these over paid, over educated fools to be genius. He and I became quick friends, and though we are nothing alike, we share our disdain for the *leadership* of this dump; an appreciation for stellar weed, and the endless enjoyment/entertainment of the absurd circus some call *work*.

Anyway, I had questions about the network here, and the measures he and his charges take to ensure the "integrity" of the internet traffic. He offered an interesting perspective on the way the various creeps here use (and abuse) the network.

He, in confidence, shared that he has viewed inter office e-mail between married people that are fucking (not their wives or husbands), junior associates that are very single who are swallowing the goop-seed of very senior partners (who are very unsingle), and long trails of yahoo chat sessions that he has followed real time for hours on end. One excellent yahoo chat included a guy jerking off on his web cam for a colleague of mine.........a guy. Now the latent homosexuality of this web cam show doesn't bother me (I hate everyone equally), rather, the guy I work with acts like uber hetero man. I guess he's not. I'll stay on his good side until after the Super Bowl, as he acts as the office bookie, when not watching creeps jerk off on their cams.

IT dude has been instructed to not do much on this front, and has been given marching orders to look primarily for industrial espionage, specifically, issues related to client confidentiality, which apparently, is a complex concept for certain peers. Some of these peers specialize in very complex issues of this nature, however, in the office, this seems to not apply to their electronic communication----. He implied, though did not state, that there were potential terminations associated with such issues. 2008 promises to be an interesting year if the binary tid-bits continue to fly at this rate, pace and tenor.

So, as pony tailed IT man and I discussed this, he related that he digs my CL posts (at least someone does), and that within the IT group my thoughts concerning chicks, fist fights, vicious localism, systematic murder of paedophiles, terrorists, and the best places for sweetbread and/or hand jobs, resonates with the socially challenged that populate his staff.

In fact, one recent screed (concerning women's insatiable appetite for assholes) landed one of his tech-terrorists in trouble with his wife. This Junior IT cat applied (incorrectly) the most salient points of one such essay. Apparently, he started demanding his favorite meals and sexual favors, in direct conflict with my cogently clear instructions. I suspect the whole calculus of assholedom, related to females, changes when you've tied the marriage knot. He's on thin ice. That post DID come with a disclaimer...he chose to ignore it.

I have come to the conclusion that those of us that post, or merely lurk, are actually providing our employers a better days work than those that subscribe to the other diversions that plague the office work culture.

Another example, there is a woman that sits adjacent to me who is continually getting up and leaving the office for her car (she claims). She comes back twenty minutes later refreshed, reeking of freshly deployed perfum and ready to concentrate for a couple of hours before her next "car visit." This chick keeps insane hours and works like a fiend; I suspect she is one of those professional tweekers. She will crash soon. Her work is of high quality, and I dig her, though her phrenetic pace and sudden loss of weight is alarming. I have seen pictures of her from her college years, she was quite appealing. Time has been unkind to her---though I am certain, most of you posting your confessions would fuck her.

Yet more examples: In this office we have a number of on-going salacious affairs. These folks are sneaky, but their predictable behaviors betray their intention. They stagger their departures to lunch, plan their exits curiously, and fool most of the people here, though not me or my IT colleague. The best thing about these trsyt-risk takers is the awkward ways these participants tip toe around the annual office shin digs where families show up, this year's was no exception. I went only to watch these little dances. Perhaps those observations are worth sharing, if for no other reason, this information could act as a "This is not what you do if you want to keep your affairs hidden" type of guideline.....

The amount of time these (literal) fuckers use to plan their trips to the no-tell-motel must be countless. I guess they are getting paid to fuck, which I suppose is good..... Though hardly worth the longterm risks.

So while the others in the office are powdering their noses, blowing their *mentor* or trying to seduce some chick (or dude) on yahoo chat, we sitting here at our desks writing/reading/flagging this garbage are actually entirely accessible, and capable of not only appearing to be busy, but also doing actual work while scribbling this crap.

Conclusion: Those of us, condemned to life behind a desk, have earned the right to Craigslist....

post id: 555888139